


The Gift

by mertlekang



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5445938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mertlekang/pseuds/mertlekang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinyoung's friends had always gone out of their way to surprise him on birthdays, but when his 21st came around... Jinyoung really wasn't prepared for what was to come. (Or, Jinyoung is a virgin and his housemates order him an escort.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

 

 

Jinyoung had grown up as an only child, coddled and suffocated by the love of his parent's. While he was thankful for their dedication and affection during his childhood, he also resented them for the way they had brought him up. His parents were obsessed with success; desperate to see their child grow and become what they could not. When he wanted to learn the violin, they signed him up for piano lessons. When he wanted to act, they told him to study so he could become a good doctor one day.

The only thing they couldn't take away from him were his books. He'd tape false covers to them, disguising his classics as various editions of 'Introduction to Medicine' and his English textbooks as dictionaries. There was no room for failure; there wasn't even the option - it didn't once cross his parent's minds that he wanted to be anything other than what they would make him. He was their project, and though he never went without any basic human needs or suffered any neglect, the love they gave him was cold, and he always found himself shivering in the wake of it.

School was a miserable time for him, studying subjects he had no interest in and knowing he had to succeed. The only respite from it all was the classes he'd sneak into in secret; study groups and after school clubs he'd disguise as extra credit for his other subjects. He had an aching passion for literature, reading words written centuries before he was born and still feeling the impact of them. While he was growing up, they gave him a warmth his parent's didn't know how to give, made him see a world they were too narrow minded to even explore.

Over time he'd become insecure; terrified of failure, of being a disappointment. Studying constantly, he couldn't make friends, couldn't talk to people. He felt that if he didn't live up to their expectations they wouldn't want to be around him anymore, wouldn't like him, wouldn't love him. Why risk the disappointment when you could just avoid it entirely? 

He didn't lie to his parents when he enrolled in college - he took every syllabus they wanted him to. Jinyoung never lied - he decieved. The second he was out of the house and on the bus with luggage up to his ears, he was on his cellphone completely switching every major he'd signed up to. Instead of music he took theatre, instead of biology he took art history; classics, linguistics. He was free, and with freedom came the sudden knowledge that you were alone. 

He didn't live on campus or in dorms, instead moving to a shared house with random tenants in various levels of study. He'd trembled all the way to the door, heart pounding and knees weak as he gathered the strength to keep his hand steady and unlock the door. By the end of the evening he'd already met one housemate, a Californian boy named Mark. He had a smile that set Jinyoung at ease and a calmness that made him feel like he couldn't disappoint him even if he tried. They were alone for a whole week before their other housemates were due to arrive, the two of them exploring the campus together and getting to know eachother.

He found out Mark was there on an acrobatics scholarship, taking a few - in his words - easy subjects on the side. It was the day before a new housemate was due to arrive that Jinyoung had his first taste of alcohol at the ripe age of twenty, and the two of them shared secrets in the safety of cheap wine and Netflix. He was loose enough to relieve the burden of hiding his sexuality, finding a spark of joy in the knowledge that Mark was the same - and proud of it.

Jinyoung didn't know you could be proud of such a thing, always believing it was something shameful and dirty; because that was what his parent's thought, what they said right in front of him while they read an article about a boy committing suicide because of his 'mental illness'. He'd vowed never to tell them who he really was, and even Mark's confidence didn't sway him on that matter.

BamBam was a shock to his system when he first tumbled through the door like a hurricane, but Jinyoung quickly developed a deep affection for the kid. Once again Jinyoung was shown the narrowness of his own life when BamBam invited his boyfriend, Yugyeom, over within the first few months of the semester. Jinyoung struggled to believe there were so many people like him living without fear of judgement or disgust.

Yugyeom was Mark's favourite, the highschooler visiting so often he could have lived there if Mark had his way. When it came to favourites, though, Youngjae had a special place in Jinyoung's heart. 

Youngjae had moved in a month after the start of the semester, having had trouble with the paperwork and ending up delayed until it all went through. The poor guy had the shock of his life upon opening the door and coming face to face with a very naked BamBam, who'd thought it was Jinyoung coming home and had stripped to give him a heart attack. In the end it was the younger boy who got the life scared out of him - karma was a bitch. Somehow instead of being a source of awkwardness, the abrupt greeting made the two of them like super glue.

By the time they'd all settled in, Jinyoung felt like he had a family there - a family that didn't want him to be anyone but who he was. 

That was when the torture began. Everyone had to endure it - not just Jinyoung - but it was he who dreaded it the most in the end.

On Yugyeoms 18th birthday they'd all pretended to have forgotten, resulting in an unexpected amount of tears from the gentle giant and a whole load of apologising from his hyungs. For BamBam's 19th they had shaved his charismatic eyebrows off in his sleep, and for Youngjae's 20th they poured one of his beers out and filled it with vinegar instead. Mark wasn't so easy to play with, the older boy always seeming to emit an aura that told you not to fuck with him, so they decided to go about his birthday in a different way. It was on Mark's 23rd birthday that he walked into his bedroom to find an extremely naked - save for a bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne discreetly covering his genitals - Jackson Wang, whom the older boy had been quite vocally crushing on for a while. In a way that one backfired, because Mark ended up getting the best screw of his life and a boyfriend in just one night.

Jinyoung didn't know he had such a devious streak in him, but he supposed after some deep thought that he'd always been sneaking around behind his parents backs, tricking them constantly. He liked to tease and play games as long as nobody got hurt physically or emotionally - he'd hugged Yugyeom until he couldn't breathe when he'd started to cry, horrified to have upset him. So when the bottle span and landed on him, he was suddenly caught off guard. For some reason he hadn't realised he'd be on the recieving end of the birthday tradition at some point, so he'd gone through the day without any sense of suspicion. They'd drank until the fridge was empty, and Jinyoung hadn't noticed that it was him who'd drank most of it, nor did he see the shiftiness in his friend's eyes, the constant encouragement they'd given him to drink up.

The next thing he knew he was being talked into going to a gay bar by an overly eager BamBam, and at some point along the way Jackson had joined them. Yugyeom didn't even need a fake ID to get in with the sheer size of him, whereas BamBam majored in IT and had a fresh one for Jinyoung and Jackson within fifteen minutes. He'd never been to a club, nevermind a gay one. The strobe lights and pounding music had made him feel like he was spinning and the sheer amount of flesh on display turned his eyes to saucers.

To give credit to his friends, their only intention had been to take him out of his comfort zone and hopefully show him that he wasn't alone. They had no way of knowing that one bottle of poppers and four rounds of shots bought for him by random guys would result in him taking half of his clothes off and grinding filthily against three men in bondage gear, suspended in a cage while they squirted whipped cream down the front of his pants and poured water all over him. Jackson and Mark were snapping pictures all over the place while Jinyoung partied on blindly, taking numbers from guys he wouldn't remember the faces of and getting drinks bought for him left and right.

He vaguely recalled dancing on the bar with Youngjae and trying to choreograph a strip tease, resulting in the younger boy slipping off the counter and falling heavily into a random guys lap. Before, he'd been pretty sure Youngjae was straight, but after what he saw the boy doing by 5am... he couldn't be so certain anymore.

He'd woken up with the worst hangover he could ever imagine a human being experiencing, sticky and still dressed in the clothes he was wearing before. Rolling over to the sound of his phone going crazy, he saw 44 missed calls and hundreds of texts - all from his parent's. At first he'd thought there'd been some kind of accident or tragedy in the family, but upon checking his facebook notifications quickly he saw what the urgency was. He guessed he should have told Mark he had his parents on there, that they'd see the 400 pictures he was tagged in from that night. 

It had taken hours for his parents to finish yelling down the line; after a while he'd just rolled beneath the covers and mumbled 'yep' at every gap in their sermon. When he'd finally dragged himself downstairs, finding his housemates in the kitchen looking extremely guilty, he didn't feel anything but relief. If his parents knew this, there was nothing worse he had to hide.

It turned out that his parents had stalked the rest of the guys' profiles and called them up too, giving each of them a talking to they wouldn't forget. They'd expected Jinyoung to be a sobbing mess or wildly angry, but instead he'd just fallen into Mark's warm embrace, weak from having carried such a heavy weight for so long. He wouldn't forget the love he'd felt from them when he'd been crushed into a group hug; Jackson's strong arms around his neck like a noose and BamBam's boney elbows jabbing him in the hip. Whatever his parent's felt, whether they'd ever want him back, he had enough love and acceptance with these boys to survive without anything else. He was like their mother, and they were his children, as dysfunctional a family as they might have been. In just one year he'd found more love than he'd had in a lifetime.

However, as filled with relief and love as he was, he was still utterly mortified. Yugyeom insisted on bringing memories of that night back to him for weeks afterwards, greedy to embarrass his hyung's at all times. BamBam would imitate his reaction to his first experience with poppers, insisting that Jinyoung hadn't stopped commenting on how 'loose they made his butthole feel' and how he had continually stated that he was 'so hardcore for taking drugs'. Jackson had basically moved in with them after a while, and he'd often tell of how much of a hero he was that night for stopping Jinyoung from going home with a man three times his age and - in Jackson's opinion - probably affiliated with the mafia, even though Jinyoung had insisted he was in love with him and planned to elope.

Mark was mute on the matter, but in Jinyoung's eyes the silence was even worse, deafening, because he was sure the older boy had seen everything and was just waiting for Jinyoung to fuck up so he could use it as revenge. Youngjae didn't, and never would, say a word about that night, because the whole house had seen the disasterous antics he'd got up to in the club. Jinyoung would even venture to say the younger boy had embarrassed himself more than him, so at least there was someone worse off.

After Jinyoung's birthday fiasco, rather than learning from their mistakes, the bar only got higher. When Yugyeom turned 19, they blindfolded him and snuck him into a strip club. The lot of them got blind drunk, resulting in them having to drag the younger boy off the stage when he started giving the strippers a run for their money. On the way out a manager had even grabbed him and asked if he wanted a job.

For BamBam's 20th, they cut holes into the back pockets of every pair of jeans the guy owned, and the kid didn't notice until he got kicked out of his internship for inappropriate attire. That was a day he'd decided to forgo underwear, looking very fetching in his homemade denim assless chaps.

Youngjae had a gig at the student union planned for the week after his birthday, so they'd suggested an English song for him to perform; Mark and Jackson translating it incorrectly when he'd asked what the words meant, which resulted in every international student dying of laughter at his crooning, soulful rendition of "Boy is a Bottom".

The day before Mark's 25th, Jinyoung had snuck into the bathroom the older boy had for himself on the top floor while he was out, replacing his moisturiser with tanning solution and swapping the bottles in his unopened hair dye boxes with a semi-permanent shocking blue. When the older boy had got home, he'd offered to dye his hair for him, which he often did; the older boy had an obsession with keeping his red hair vibrant. Seeing Mark come downstairs in the morning with blue hair, a face like thunder and his usually porcelain skin now the colour of a Dorito was enough to dissolve the whole kitchen into a fit of hysterics. The only thing that saved Jinyoung from a beating was Kackson's heated proclamation of how much he loved Doritos and how he wanted to see if Mark tasted like one - to which the beating passed to him instead.

Jackson hadn't been in on the birthday ritual before, and while he was excited about it, in the end he was the same as the rest of them - filled with the need to get revenge whenever the next birthday came around. He was at their college on a fencing scholarship, and Mark threw his entire fencing uniform into the wash with all the coloured clothing he could find. The older boy packed his backpack that night, and Jackson had taken it as a sweet display of affection, bouncing off to campus with butterflies in his chest only to scream the locker room down when he pulled out the mess of pink his outfit had been reduced to. He had a league tournament that day.

It was during a short holiday break that they'd gathered together for a party, actually inviting people from outside their group for the first time. The alcohol was flowing and the music was bursting Jinyoung's eardrums open while he danced his heart away. He danced with a girl he recognised from his drama group - Bae Suji, he recalled - for almost half the night, engrossed in the masterclass she was giving him on how to body roll and slut drop. He caught Youngjae watching with glazed over eyes and ended up suspending his lesson for the night to invite the younger boy in his place; wicked delight rising in him at the sight of Youngjae turning tomato red and struggling to make coherent sounds, nevermind move his limbs to a rhythm. 

When he wandered back into the living room through the throng of people, he was met with the sight of the rest of his housemates and a few randomers sat in a circle, red cups clutched in hand. He sat beside Jackson curiously, asking what they were doing. Jackson only handed him a cup, smirking deviously. '21 truths, glad you could join us. I'm sure a lot of useful information will be shared tonight.'

Somehow Mark was insanely good at evading the 21, whilst BamBam was the biggest black hole. It was shocking to hear the amount of sexual situations the younger boy had experienced, and Yugyeom's face was a startling shade of red by the fifth question - something Jinyoung didn't want to hear the answer to ever again for the sake of being able to look the two of them in the eyes in the future. 

Jinyoung's heart almost stopped when the girl to his left finished on 20, the number 21 leaving his lips like a death sentence as his housemates looked upon him in glee. Yugyeom was the first to get a question in, desperate to get revenge for how much Jinyoung had laughed at his embarrassment. 

'Hyung, how many guys have you been with?' 

Jinyoung felt relief wash over him at the simplicity of the question, expecting it to be some horrifyingly personal revelation. 'None, I'm a virgin. Never even been kissed.' He brought his cup to his lips nonchalantly, but paused mid-gulp at the silence that had settled over the group. 'What?'

'You're a virgin?' Jackson screeched, 'Don't fuck with us.'

'Why is it so surprising?' He was suddenly feeling the need to defend himself, as if he'd just been caught for a crime he'd committed.

'Are you one of those abstinence people?' BamBam gasped with a look of wonderment, and Jinyoung scrunched his face up in astonishment.

'No, it-it just hasn't happened yet! Why are you making a big deal out of it?'

'Cos' you're hot.' A girl cooed across from him, 'I guess we all just assume cute people are getting the good stuff day and night.'

'Are you afraid of losing it?' 'Do you avoid getting into situations where it might happen?' 'Surely you must have been approached by somebody?' The questions came one after the other like gunfire and Jinyoung was almost sweating to be so in the spotlight, especially around people he didn't know from Adam as they pried into his private life.

'Can we stop talking about this now?' He mumbled, mood truly turning for the worst at the inquisition. While he couldn't quite place why the questioning had upset him so much, he just knew it wasn't anyone's place to be asking, and he definitely didn't have to give an answer to anybody. The chatter rose up again as they tried to cheer him up - as well as a few others still trying to pry information out of this apparently rare creature they called a virgin - but Jinyoung just shook his head, groggily swaying to his feet and climbing the stairs to his bedroom.

Within five minutes of being slumped against the door it opened hard, slamming into his back, followed by a rushed apology as Mark squeezed in through the small gap. The older boy came to sit beside him on the floor, pulling him against his shoulder comfortingly. 'You okay kiddo?'

'I didn't know it was so weird to be a virgin at my age, I'm only twenty.' He sighed heavily, 'Is there something wrong with me, Mark?'

Mark huffed, 'There's a lot of things wrong with you, but nothing to do with that situation.' Jinyoung cracked a smile at that before Mark continued, 'It'll happen when it happens, if you even want it to happen; asexuals exist too, there's nothing weird about it. I'm surprised you've never been kissed, though.'

Jinyoung shrugged miserably. 'I never spoke to anyone all through school and my parents didn't give me any time to have friends anyway. I didn't go to parties or socialise until I came here, when was I supposed to find somebody willing to kiss me?'

Mark put his serious face on. 'Do you think you subconsciously avoid situations where somebody might be interested in you because you're scared of your inexperience?' Of course, Jinyoung had to get stuck with the fucking Psych student. 'Or you feel they might be repulsed by you, or disappointed with what they find if they get closer?'

'Spare me the evaluation, please.' Jinyoung groaned.

'If you want I can teach you how to kiss.' Mark offered openly, and Jinyoung looked at him quizzically, eyebrow raised as his body tensed. 'I'm not tricking you, Jinyoung. If anybody knows you, it's me - I wouldn't treat you any differently afterwards, and there's no way I can be disappointed because I don't want a relationship with you like that. It's up to you.' 

Sometimes he really hated how straight forward Mark could make things seem, especially as Jinyoung liked to be right. It would make sense to at least know what he was in for when it came to kissing, because it was true that the fear made him hesistate when a conversation got heated or somebody looked at him in a way that made his skin tingle. 

He gave a small nod, barely noticable but Mark caught it and squeezed his shoulder. 'Just remember that you don't have to be perfect, nobody is grading you, nobody is going to be disappointed with you. When I had my first kiss I got my braces stuck in a girls tongue piercing and had to go to the A&E with her dad while I was still joined to his daughters face. Even if it's awkward or it goes completely wrong, you can still look back on it and laugh. It will get better the more you do it - and it depends who you're doing it with.'

Jinyoung was gaining confidence from Mark's comforting words, steeling himself for the plunge into uncharted waters he was about to take. Seeing Mark's face so close to his almost made him jump back, but the older placed a grounding hand at his neck, thumb rubbing comforting circles to the back of his ear as he pulled him closer. He watched the older boys eyes flutter shut, hot breath ghosting over Jinyoung's lips before he felt the warmth against his own. It was chaste, and Mark pulled back as soon as he did it with a cheeky smile.

'Is that it?' Jinyoung spluttered indignantly, feeling like he'd been set up. Mark only giggled, shaking his head.

'Of course not, I just wanted to check if you were okay. Anytime you want to back out just bite me or something.'

Jinyoung nodded, nervous again. Mark resumed his previous position of holding Jinyoung steady, this time pressing his lips against Jinyoung's more firmly, pushing at the soft flesh and beckoning Jinyoung to turn his head this way and that with just the gentle pressure of his hand. Jinyoung felt well out of his depth, but he followed Mark's lead anyway, tentatively kissing the older boy back and copying whatever he'd been doing so far. Mark's lips were soft and he was careful, slow and intent on putting Jinyoung at ease. 

When Jinyoung finally ran out of breath, he broke away panting, trying to ignore the knowing smirk on Mark's lips.

'Dont fall in love with me, Jinyoungie, my lips belong to another.'

'Dont remind me where your mouth has been, please.' Jinyoung retorted, getting a slap on his arm in return. 

'Wanna do tongue?' 

'I think I'll leave that for my true love - I'd rather not have the second-hand aftertaste of Jackson's dick-' Mark punched him hard in the shoulder, making him fall to the ground in overexaggerated pain. The two of them dissolved into laughter, and Jinyoung was thankful they were close enough for the whole situation to seem so natural. 

When Jinyoung had finally caught his breath, he sighed. 'Thanks, Mark. You didn't have to do that.'

Mark only winked, messing up the younger boys hair playfully. 'Anything for you, Jinyoungie. Don't ask me for a workshop in sexual techniques, though. There are parts of you I don't need to see.'

Time slipped away from all of them during midterms, and while Jinyoung had been adamant that he would stay vigilant this year and not let his birthday fall into the hands of his demonic housemates, he'd ended up swallowed by his coursework, assignments flooding in from every angle and distracting him entirely. He hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks, only leaving his room to use the bathroom or grab a bowl of cereal to take up to his room. There wasn't a corner or crevice of his bedroom that wasn't covered in paper or dirty dishes, stained coffee mugs and dog-eared notebooks. 

Honestly he'd forgotten about his birthday completely. His parents usually sent him cards from their extended family and texted him constantly in the weeks leading up to it, but his phone was silent and his mailbox empty. He'd had no contact with them since his accidental coming out, yet he didn't miss them, instead feeling as if his shackles had been broken and he was free to live as who he truly was.

It was well past midnight when Mark gently rapped at his door, entering at Jinyoung's grunt and whistling when he took in the sight of the younger boy. Jinyoung was wearing his glasses, hunched over his desk like Quasimodo. His hair was greasy and pushed up in different directions from dragging his fingers through it in frustration and he'd been wearing the same pyjamas for at least a week, pulling them back on after every shower.

'You look horrible, Jinyoung.' Mark stated bluntly, throwing himself down on Jinyoung's bed lazily. 

'Well some of us have to study.' Jinyoung retorted miserably, voice thick with lack of use. 'Not everyone can just wing it.'

'Dont be bitchy with me, I come bearing gifts. Take a break before you go blind.'

Jinyoung sighed, easily crumbling at the idea of a rest. His muscles ached from being seated for so many hours and he groaned when he stood and stretched, walking on wobbly legs to throw himself down beside Mark. 'Gifts?'

'You're going on a date tomorrow.'

'Eat shit.' Jinyoung grumbled into his duvet. He really wasn't in the mood for this.

'It's all arranged, birthday boy. I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight, I'll even make you breakfast and clean this pig sty up for you.' 

Jinyoung sat up, eyeing the older boy suspiciously. 'What's the catch?'

Mark's eyes went wide, a sickeningly innocent expression on his face. 'There is no catch, how could you ever think such a thing?'

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, 'I'm not going. You've probably set me up with some dirty old man.'

'Trust me, this guy is hot. Who knows, you might even get laid.' Jinyoung scoffed and Mark sat up, placing his hands gently on the younger boys shoulders and fixing his eyes on him seriously. 'Now, Jinyoungie, do I need to tell you about where the boy parts go when two guys have sex?'

Jinyoung scrunched his face up. 'Don't patronize me, you shit.'

'So you know you have to clean down there pretty thoroughly, yeah? I have a spare douche-'

Jinyoung threw his head back in exasperation. 'Please spare me.'

'It's important though, I'm just looking after you.'

Mark patted his red cheek hard, making Jinyoung cringe before the older boy bounced up from the bed with wicked glee, bounding over to the door and throwing one last glance over his shoulder. 'You'll thank me when you see him, you know.' He reassured, dodging the pillow Jinyoung flung towards him and closing the door behind him.

Jinyoung didn't trust this for a second; even if Mark was being sincere, just the thought of going on a date made him sick with anxiety. What would he wear? What if the guy wasn't attracted to him at all or found him boring or disgusting in some way? If he was as devestatingly handsome as Mark was making him out to be, it would only make the rejection that much worse. He curled up in his bed with dread coiling around his guts, anxious for whatever horror awaited him tomorrow night.

When Jinyoung awoke he'd completely forgotten the events of the previous night, contentedly curling deeper into his duvet and clinging to the fuzzy tendrils of dreams. He felt a bony body collide with his own and it took a long wrestle for Jinyoung to finally roll out from under the sheets, disgruntled and bleary eyed.

Mark was grinning at him brightly, bouncing slightly on his knees. 'Are you excited?'

'Excited for what?' Jinyoung grumbled, rubbing at his eyes and yawning wide. 'Stop smiling, it's far too early.'

'It's 3pm you lazy shit. Your date will be meeting you at 7 in that bar we like-'

Jinyoung threw his head back, groaning. 'I thought you were joking.'

Mark mussed up his hair, grinning like a child. 'I'm gonna get you dressed up so pretty Jinyoungie.' He crooned, clutching Jinyoung by the shoulders and swaying him bodily side to side. 'If I don't hear this headboard banging when you get home you're in trouble.'

'What makes you think I'm gonna throw myself at this guy? Maybe I'm saving myself for marriage?' Jinyoung retorted primly, and Mark looked at him with dull eyes.

'Jinyoungie, just the other week you were saying how sexually frustrated you were and how it was only a matter of time before you just went and grabbed anyone from a gay bar and got the whole thing over with.' Jinyoung rolled his eyes, always being caught out by Mark's infallable memory. 'And besides, as I said before, this guy is gorgeous. I'm doing you a huge favour.'

'I'll be the judge of that. Nothing good ever happens on a birthday in this house.'

Mark stood and pulled Jinyoung's dead weight to his feet with effort, waving his limp arms around undeterred. 'I'd tell you to cheer up but it actually might be better for your cheeks to rest - you'll be grinning like an idiot tonight.'

'Whatever, whatever. Get out anyway I'm gonna take a shower.'

'Ah the troll leaves his cage. See, you are excited you little drama queen. Remember what I said about cleaning your a-'

'-if you don't shut up I'll tell Jackson we kissed.' Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, watching with satisfaction as Mark pouted in defeat. He patted Jinyoung's backside encouragingly, throwing a thumbs up before he descended the stairs whistling.

When Jinyoung stepped in the shower, he couldn't help but run every bad thing he'd ever done through his mind to try and figure out how he deserved this, how he'd come to live with such evil in his life. Sadly he found an endless amount of bad things in his memory and decided to just accept it for what it was. If the guy was gross, he could just walk away. If the guy was hot, he could walk away with a cell phone number that he'd always be afraid to message or answer the phone to. He'd survive. 

He washed his hair thoroughly, feeling refreshed after his first full nights sleep of the whole month. He massaged his sore muscles, letting the hot water hit against the skin soothingly. There was one other thing he'd been too busy to do all month, and he felt his cock stirring between his legs. For some reason the idea of actually losing it tonight, of being held and touched or even just kissed had him aroused to the point of aching. 

When his index finger was pushed in to the knuckle, his back arching and cock leaking as he leant heavily against the tiled wall, he couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to have somebody else touching him there, stretching him, fucking him open.

Just the thought alone, even without a face to focus on, had him coming hard, breaths shuddering and knees weak as he cleaned himself off lazily. 

Stepping from the shower, he considered himself in the mirror, eyes searching for any blemishes on his pale skin, anything offputting or repulsive about his form. He'd always been skinny, but he kept fit, his arms lightly muscled and toned. His legs weren't short but the they weren't long either, skinny but not as thin as BamBam's. He grabbed a handful of his ass roughly, the flesh filling his palm nicely while not being too soft or too firm - his ass always got compliments, so it would be worth dressing to highlight the asset.

He ran his fingers down his chest until he felt course hair beneath the digits. A trim wouldn't go amiss, he thought. He was less nervous about his penis size than he'd always thought he would be when facing the prospect of intimacy, in fact he felt confident about it. It was average in every way, not small but not overly big either. It was weird to imagine someone seeing him like that, though; to have someone aroused by the sight of him naked, or turned on by the way he moved. In Jinyoung's eyes he just looked like a nervous, awkward little boy trying to be something he wasn't - desirable, sexy, loveable.

When he returned to his bedroom he was shocked to see the floor and surfaces free of clothes and paper, Mark and Jackson wrestling to get a fresh sheet on his mattress. He cleared his throat and the two giggling idiots turned to look at him, mirth in their eyes.

'We thought you'd want to have clean sheets if you're losing your maidenhood tonight.' Jackson supplied, 'We brought candles and everything, gonna make it really romantic.'

Jinyoung didn't see a reason to dignify that with a response, rolling his eyes and shuffling over to his wardrobe, towel clutched tightly around his waist.

'If you want to be useful, tell me what to wear.'

-

By 5:30pm he was free from Mark and Jackson's suffocating fussing, the two of them treating him like their favourite doll and parading him around in front of the rest of their housemates while Jinyoung grimaced and dragged his feet.

He had to admit that they'd made quite the... transformation. He'd always been a baggy cardigan or oversized hoodie matched with loose blue jeans kind of guy, but they had him in a red dress shirt and skinny black jeans fastened with a leather belt, feet slipped into dress shoes with a heel that even BamBam would approve of. Yugyeom let him borrow one of his stylish long black coats, too. Youngjae had insisted they gel his hair, and Jinyoung had ruled that only the barest amount was going anywhere near him. His hair was drawn away from his face for once, different to his usual flat short bangs.

Of course, BamBam had dragged him into the bathroom to plaster him with all kinds of concoctions he deemed 'makeup', bbcreaming him to oblivion and rubbing smokey khol subtly along the pinch of skin where his eyes ended. He looked older like this, more mature and together rather than the nervous, bowed backed 20 something that he was. The shoes made him stand straighter and the coat made him seem taller, the jeans hugging his ass just right while still giving his dick room to breathe, and the shirt was open enough at the collar to reveal his defined collarbones and elegant neck.

Mark and Jackson were like the adoring parents he'd never had, taking pictures of their son before he left for a prom Jinyoung never had the chance to go to.

By 6pm he'd resolved to get at least a little bit tipsy to calm his nerves, and soon the wine was flowing, the whole house sat around in the kitchen teasing him to death about how they'd lend him some condoms and how important lube was. Mark walked him to the front door, patting him on the back before pulling him into a rough hug. When he finally pulled away, Jinyoung almost thought he saw a tear in the older boys eye. 

'Have a good time, Jinyoung. Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to, we all love you, you know that.' 

Jinyoung looked at him as if he was from another planet. 'You're not making me feel any better, you know.' The whole lot of them were acting downright strange and his stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation of whoever or whatever was waiting for him at that bar.

'Do me proud, mom.' Mark wailed dramatically, waving him off. Even when Jinyoung sat at the bus stop down the street he could still see Mark waving, the rest of his housemates coming to join him as they wafted dishcloths as makeshift flags. This was all startlingly suspicious.

The whole bus ride was torture, seeming to take forever. He was going through every situation that could happen, constantly telling himself he could turn back at any moment and just run home. However, he felt like he needed to prove himself - even if Mark had said such comforting words, he still felt as if they'd be disappointed if he didn't at least try. Maybe he would make a friend tonight, if not something more. It would be an experience nonetheless, he surmised.

When he stepped off at a street in Itaewon close to a bar he and Mark often frequented, his palms were sweaty and he wondered if the deoderant he'd sprayed extremely liberally would even help the persperation collecting all over his body. It was a cold night, too, but he felt like he was on fire. His legs trembled as he approached his destination, and he had to hold on to a lamp post half way up the street to collect himself. After a quick mental pep talk, he reigned in his courage and stood outside the bar.

It was the first bar he and Mark had visited a year ago when they'd first met. They liked it because it was quiet, like them, yet still full of quirks and oddities. They always played throwback disco classics even though there was no dancefloor and every room had its own theme - the bar was made of old pianos and various other instruments, one seating lounge full of taxidermy animals, and the smoking area was an actual boat. Quirky.

As he stood there, someone caught his eye. Standing against the wall, a cigarette caught between his lips, was probably the most attractive man Jinyoung had ever had the pleasure to gaze upon. The red neon light above where he stood cast a glow upon his features, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and striking eyes. That's when Jinyoung noticed that he was staring back, and his gaze dropped sheepishly, looking anywhere but there. 

He loitered for a moment, and the moment turned into minutes. He was growing colder by the second and a light rain had started to fall. As he pulled his coat tighter around himself, his eyes were drawn back to the man as he stubbed out his cigarette with expensive looking shoes. He followed his long, ripped black jean clad legs up to the well-fitting white dress shirt, the stylishly cut grey coat and was once again drawn to those eyes. The eyes that were still staring straight at him.

This time he turned away completely, fixing his gaze to a flattened piece of chewing gum marking the pavement. It was way past the arranged time, and he looked like a complete creep just standing there alone. The feeling of being stood up was something he hadn't experienced before, and his heart began to ache at the insult. He wondered if Mark had shown this person a picture of him, if he'd agreed to meet him out of politeness but had actually found him revolting.

It was then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a deep voice in his ear, freezing on the spot. 'You wouldn't happen to be Park Jinyoung, would you?' 

Jinyoung turned to the voice, startled and wide eyed. His eyes only grew wider when he faced the man from before, strikingly gorgeous up close. He had two moles above one of his eyes, a mishmash of piercings in both ears and a smile like a cat. Jinyoung felt the breath leave him in a gust, and he cringed at the sound of his own voice. 'Yes, why?' He all but whimpered, the mans gaze was so strong Jinyoung felt like a moth drawn to the light. 

The man's eyes roamed his face slowly, contemplatively, before he adressed Jinyoung once again with a voice like rich honey. 'Im Jaebum,' he offered his palm for a handshake, 'I'm your date for tonight.'


	2. two

Jinyoung hadn't realised he'd been staring, but when Jaebum cleared his throat he jumped, smiling nervously and trying desperately to maintain eye contact. 'Sorry, what?' Jinyoung asked blearily, and felt his heart flutter at the sight of the taller man's soft smile.

'Should we get a drink?' Jaebum repeated, gesturing towards the bar. Jinyoung could only nod dumbly, wide eyed and numb. His mind was racing, terrified of saying something stupid to this man who's attention he truly felt he didn't deserve. Jaebum's arm was warm and heavy when he slung it over Jinyoung's shoulder, and the younger man tensed, looking up at the attractive man in shock at his familiar touch. 'Sorry, is this okay? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, you just looked cold.'

Jinyoung couldn't have shook his head any faster, 'No, it's fine.' He stated a little too firmly, cringing internally even as Jaebum smiled warmly at him. Within thirty seconds he'd already made a complete fool of himself.

Thankfully the bar was packed with people, easing some of Jinyoung's nervousness. If there was one thing he hated it was walking into an empty bar, feeling the few eyes there on him. If there were a lot of people, you became invisible; it was just a shame Jaebum could still see him either way.

As they stood at the bar, Jinyoung couldn't keep his eyes from wandering, looking away whenever Jaebum would catch him staring. If this guy smirked at him one more time, Jinyoung was sure he'd die on the spot. Being so insecure, he didn't notice that Jaebum was looking at him with just as much interest, or how his eyes lingered on his lips and open collar.

Jaebum leaned close suddenly, and Jinyoung had to fight the urge to jump away. 'What are you having?' He asked, breath warm against Jinyoung's ear. The music was loud so it made sense he'd need to get closer, but it still made Jinyoung feel as if he were on the verge of a panic attack. He suddenly couldn't recall any alcoholic beverages, eyes darting rapidly over to some cursive fonts on a chalk board.

'Sex on the Beach?' He tried, immediately flushing when he understood the words that had left his lips. Why did his eyes have to fall upon that one particular drink? Jaebum seemed to find it amusing, winking at him before he turned to the bar tender, and Jinyoung felt it like a gunshot.

Jaebum ordered himself some kind of expensive wine Jinyoung hadn't heard of; he'd never seen the point in spending money on wine when it all tasted like hell anyway. Somehow it made the taller man seem even more sophisticated and mature in his eyes, though, and he felt ridiculous when the girl serving them slid his obnoxious pink pitcher over to him, tiny umbrella and everything.

They managed to find a seat, and Jinyoung watched with rapt attention as Jaebum shrugged off his coat, seeing his muscles flex beneath his white shirt. He rolled his sleeves up slightly, revealing some bizarre abstract tattoos winding around his wrists and forearms. Jinyoung followed suit just to busy himself before his shoulders hunched and his hands found their place clasped tightly between his thighs. He honestly wanted this to be over just to save Jaebum the trouble of navigating a conversation with him.

Jaebum looked entirely at ease in comparison; body language languid and relaxed as he leant his elbows on the table between them, head cocked to the side as he leaned forward. 'You seem nervous, never been on a date before?' 

Jinyoung smiled tentatively, 'That obvious, huh?'

'I'm in shock, you're pretty cute.' Jaebum said casually, and Jinyoung felt like his face would burn off. 'The cutest guy I've been on a date with in a while, actually.'

Jinyoung laughed nervously, throat dry. 'Empty compliments will get you nowhere, you know.'

'Empty? I'm just telling you what I see. You should have more confidence.' Jaebum took a long sip of his wine, and Jinyoung watched, mesmerised, as his throat bobbed sensually.

Jinyoung decided tonight would go a lot better if he was absolutely wasted.

He'd drank his cocktail in record speed, deciding to let Jaebum do the talking being as Jinyoung's years of linguistics seemed to have proved useless in actual social situations. Jaebum was 25, he'd dropped out of college a few years back for reasons he wouldn't disclose, but he'd been a major in film and photography. The older boy had a way of talking that made Jinyoung melt, slow and deep and silky. His eyes were both cold and burning hot at the same time, and Jinyoung could imagine how it would feel to be on his bad side, how those eyes might cut through the heart of one of his enemies, because they were cutting through him for another reason.

Jaebum was also, apparently, filthy rich if the fact he was buying drink after drink was any indication. He'd insisted Jinyoung let him pay for the next round even though he'd bought his drink before also. It was odd to be paid for while he was still vaguely sober, and it made a strange warm feeling linger in his chest. By his third cocktail (he hadn't had the strength to tell Jaebum he didn't even like the drink, nor could he think of what he actually wanted) he was feeling looser, as was his tongue. Just the scent of alcohol tended to make him overshare, which was probably a side effect of so many years going without telling anybody anything.

To Jaebum's credit, he actually seemed interested in Jinyoung's whole life story as the younger man rambled on, going into far too much detail in some parts. By the time he'd finished giving a thorough dramatic retelling of his last birthday party, Jaebum was looking at him slyly, a twinkle in his eyes. Jinyoung hadn't noticed when their knees had ended up pressed against each other under the table, or the fact that he himself was now leaning absurdly close to the older boy.

'There's a club just down the street we could go to if you'd like to dance.' He offered, tone low even with the loudness of the bar, because Jinyoung was close enough to catch it.

If there was one thing Jinyoung hated when he was sober, it was dancing. If there was one thing Jinyoung loved when he was drunk, it was dancing. 'Are you a good dancer?' He drawled, leaning his head on his palm as if there was nothing he wanted to hear more than Jaebum's reply.

'I actually did some B-Boying for a while. I was pretty good at it, too.' The image of Jaebum sweating after a long practice played in Jinyoung's head for a moment, imagining how those arms would look in a tank top, if his thighs were as strong as his upper body. He wondered how much stamina Jaebum had.

'Why did you stop?'

Jaebum hesitated, and Jinyoung didn't miss the moment he cast his eyes away, a sad expression on his face. His small smile was back in place almost as quickly as it went, though it didn't reach his eyes. 'Life just doesn't work out how you expect it to, sometimes.'

Jinyoung blinked at him for a moment, drawn in to whatever had happened to make him give up something he obviously loved. 'Do you think you'll ever do it again?'

'Sometimes you just have to let things go.'

-

The rain was pouring when they left the bar, and Jaebum offered his coat as shelter, holding Jinyoung firmly around the waist to keep him close. He smelled like expensive cologne and cigarettes, two things Jinyoung never thought would appeal to him so much. It was a wonderful excuse to lean into Jaebum's side, feel his warm, hard body against his own, and he found himself wishing the journey had been longer just so he could have felt that closeness for a moment more. When he actually looked up at the garish neon sign before them, his heart dropped and he was hit with flashbacks of whipped cream and leather.

'What's wrong?' Jaebum asked when they queued up for entry, and Jinyoung sighed woefully.

'The last time I came here I ended up nearly eloping with a sixty year old man.'

Jaebum's laugh was rich and honest, and it was hard not to laugh along with him. 'So this is where that story came from. At least I'm here this time to ward off any potential suitors.'

Ahead of them in the queue were a group of girls eyeing Jaebum and whispering to each other, and Jinyoung felt a surge of jealousy, though he had no right to be possessive. 'You're getting a lot of attention.' He griped, not meaning to sound so bratty, but Jaebum just glanced at them quickly before raising an eyebrow at the shorter man.

'They're looking at both of us. You'd think they'd get the hint being as they're waiting to go into a gay bar.' Jaebum sighed, shrugging. 

'We could be bisexuals, you know. Or into threesomes or something.'

'Are you?'

'Which one?'

'Either.'

'Well firstly I'm definitely gay, and secondly I can't even get one person to sleep with me, never mind two.' Jinyoung retorted, rolling his eyes. 

'You really don't think much of yourself, do you?' Jaebum said softly, and Jinyoung was taken aback by the warmth in his voice, the way he was looking at him.

'There isn't much to think of.' The words were almost automatic, so used to feeling less than good enough he always felt the need to put himself down before anyone else could, or let people know not to get their hopes up. 

'I can't seem to stop thinking about you, so there must be.' Jaebum's smile was like the sun, and Jinyoung was blinded by it, frowning to hide how flustered he was. Jaebum glanced towards the group of girls still watching them intently, and seemed to make a decision. His fingers were cold when they came to hold Jinyoung's chin, but his lips were warm against his own. Jinyoung hadn't seen it coming, and it was over before it began, Jaebum pulling away with an easy smile as if he hadn't just shaved ten years off Jinyoung's life. The younger man could only open and close his mouth wordlessly, struggling to put his mind back together.

When his senses had returned, he quickly picked his jaw up off the floor, scowling up at Jaebum's smug face. He punched his arm lightly, embarrassed to have been taken off guard. 'What did you do that for?'

'I thought it was necessary.' Jaebum shrugged, 'Besides, those girls definitely aren't looking anymore.'

-

The scent of sweat and booze and sex hit Jinyoung as soon as they stepped into the club, and Jaebum took his coat for him, handing it in to the cloakroom before he guided him to the bar. They ordered a round of shots, and Jinyoung nearly died when Jaebum grabbed his wrist, licking the salt off his hand before downing his own drink. Mark had truly outdone himself this time, and he mentally sang happy birthday to himself.

Needless to say, Jinyoung was pretty smashed by the fifth shot, standing far too close to Jaebum for it to be seen as anything but flirting. If he'd had long hair, he probably would have been twirling it at that point. Jaebum was witty and easy to talk to, naturally guiding conversations and taking the pressure away from Jinyoung. If even yesterday someone had told him he'd be standing this close to a guy this handsome and charming, and that the man in question didn't seem to think he was all too shabby either, he'd have killed them for lying so viciously.

Yet there he was, slurring drunkenly in an attempt to be seductive as he beckoned Jaebum to the dance floor. Jaebum was full of surprises, dancing wildly to every kpop song that blared and leaving Jinyoung breathless with laughter while he tried to keep up. However, the moment the songs started to slow down, so did Jaebum, latching on to Jinyoung's hips as they rolled against each other. Jinyoung was lost in Jaebum's rhythm, winding himself around the older man like a snake, unable to look away from his dark gaze. Jaebum's hands were running up and down his sides, sending shivers down Jinyoung's spine. The younger turned away to grind back against him, head thrown back lewdly.

Jaebum stroked a hand up Jinyoung's neck, the other at his hip, pulling him hard against him as he rolled his hips to meet him. Jinyoung leaned into the touch, the thrum of alcohol making him lax and willing. When Jaebum cupped his chin and tilted his head to look back at him, Jinyoung felt like he was falling, the only support being Jaebum's firm body against him. Unlike the chaste kiss they'd shared outside, this one was filthy, full of want and lust and Jinyoung lost himself in it, gasping for breath every time Jaebum gave him a seconds reprieve. When Jaebum licked his way into his mouth, Jinyoung could feel himself melting against him, cock filling out as the sensation, the baseness of it all. 

He wanted Jaebum, and it was overwhelming to imagine Jaebum wanting him too.

It was when Jaebum's hands wandered lower, squeezing Jinyoung's backside firmly that the kiss was truly broken, Jinyoung gasping as his head lolled back against Jaebum's shoulder. The taller man continued to roll his hips deliciously against Jinyoung's rear, nibbling at his earlobe, and Jinyoung was sure the hardness he felt against his lower back wasn't Jaebum's belt buckle. 

'Ah, Jinyoungie,' Jaebum breathed against Jinyoung's neck, and he almost purred at the nickname, 'You're driving me crazy.'

Jinyoung turned around, pressing himself against Jaebum's chest and pressing his lips to a pierced ear, biting at the jewelry teasingly. 'Come back to my place.' He rasped, voice rough with want, too gone to care how needy he sounded. Jaebum pulled him in for another messy, heated kiss, before he stepped away, the loss of his body heat leaving Jinyoung cold and making him follow after him longingly. The look Jaebum gave him before he pulled him through the crowded dance floor was enough to send sparks through his veins, and he grasped the strong hand tightly, the two of them almost falling out of the club. Thankfully Jaebum still had enough clarity to collect their coats, because Jinyoung wouldn't have noticed the cold with the fire Jaebum had set in him. 

They stumbled into a taxi, Jinyoung ignoring his seat entirely in favour of Jaebum's lap. The taxi driver didn't seem to be impressed, giving them a disapproving glance every few seconds in the rearview mirror, but neither of them were looking. Jinyoung had always been disgusted by public displays of affection, but right then he felt as if he'd suffocate if he wasn't breathing Jaebum's air, or drown if he wasn't holding onto him.

He barely acknowledged Jaebum slipping a twenty to the driver just before they tumbled out of the door, groping eachother ruthlessly until they really had to pull away from each other to unlock the door. Jinyoung's hand eye co-ordination was shot, unable to even grasp the keys in his pocket, and Jaebum watched him patiently before he yelled in exasperation, digging them out himself and unlocking the door with clumsy motions. They were giggling like school children, almost tripping on the rug by the door before their lips came together again, the door slamming behind them. Coats were lost, shoes were kicked off, and Jaebum's hands were on Jinyoung's hips again, walking him backwards until he came up against the back of the sofa abruptly, the two of them collapsing in a pile.

The two idiots were breathless, laughing against each other's mouths as they tried to untangle their limbs, taking a good five minutes to get upright again. Jaebum's hair was in magnificent disarray, his shirt rumpled and jeans visibly tented. Jinyoung couldn't tear his eyes away, and Jaebum laughed cockily. Jinyoung didn't quite register the older boy taking his hand until he was pressing it firmly against his crotch, and Jinyoung's eyes shot up to catch the older boy looking at him darkly, biting his lip with a sultry smirk.

Jaebum was packing some serious heat, and Jinyoung's eyes were wide, causing Jaebum to snicker. 'Don't make fun of me,' Jinyoung whined, snatching his hand away, but Jaebum pulled it back, kissing the palm softly.

'I'm not, you're just cute.'

Jinyoung rolled his eyes before getting to his feet - finally managing to get off the sofa after a few tries and a light push from Jaebum. He fell onto the taller boy while he was attempting to pull him up too, bringing on another round of giggles until the two of them were finally on their feet and Jinyoung led him clumsily up the stairs, tripping over every other step. 

'What a lovely view.' Jaebum hummed, and Jinyoung turned around to swat at him, missing by a mile and nearly sending them tumbling back down the stairs. They muffled each other's laughter with kisses, banging into every wall and surface until they reached Jinyoung's room, bursting in without closing the door and falling on the bed heavily.

Jinyoung straddled the taller man, unbuttoning his shirt slowly and soaking up the attention he was getting, Jaebum's eyes following every twist of his fingers. By the time he'd freed himself from the fabric, Jaebum's warm hands were already stroking up his sides, thumbs teasing at his nipples and making him gasp softly. He ground his ass down against Jaebum's crotch, watching with dark eyes as he groaned roughly before rolling them over until Jinyoung was on his back, the air knocked out of him. He claimed Jinyoung's lips again, slowly and passionately this time, far removed from the filthy tongue-and-teeth they'd been doing before. 

Jinyoung's eyes were closed, alcohol humming in his veins and making him feel heavy and lax. Jaebum's lips were so slow, so sensual and indulgent that Jinyoung didn't even notice sleep washing over him and claiming him like the tide.

-

Jinyoung woke up with a pounding headache and the taste of cigarettes on his tongue, an unfamiliar scent on his sheets. Burrowing into his pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut against the burn of daylight, stomach aching and mouth dry. The night didn't come back to him straight away, but soon enough he recalled those piercing eyes and perfect lips, and sat up abruptly, heart pounding. He was topless, clad only in his boxers, and his sheets were thrown back on one side of the bed, pillow rumpled as if someone had been lying there only moments before. He looked around blearily, running his fingers through his hair and feeling himself start to choke with tears. 

Of course he couldn't just take what he'd been given, always wanting more. He curled in on himself, sobbing into the duvet harshly. Why would someone as gorgeous as Jaebum stick around? Replaying the whole night in his head, he picked out every stupid thing he'd said, every time he'd made a fool of himself. Dissecting every glance, every soft word Jaebum spoke to him, his mind constantly twisted it around to be negative - Jaebum was smiling because he didn't know what else to do, laughing at Jinyoung in ridicule, kissing him to shut him up.

He couldn't remember bringing him back here, couldn't even remember the taxi ride. Had they slept together? He didn't feel sore anywhere, but he could have topped. He wiped his eyes on his forearms sluggishly, taking a deep breath to calm his shuddering chest as he looked for any signs of intercourse, any condoms or suspicious stains, but there was nothing. It was then that his eyes fell upon a scrap of paper on his desk that hadn't been there previously, handwriting unlike his own. He willed the sick feeling in his stomach to subside, crawling out of bed on wobbly legs to tentatively take the paper to hand. 

Jinyoung

He unfolded it, keeping his expectations as low as possible - he couldn't take anymore disappointment right now. On the overleaf was a mobile number, followed by a neatly written note.

I had a great time with you, I really hope you did too. Had things to do today so I couldn't stick around, I wish I could have watched you sleep a little longer. If you called me sometime it would make my day - I'd love to see you again.

Jaebum.

He read the note three or four times, unable to trust his eyes. A long breath left his lips when he finally set it down, having held it in the whole time. So Jaebum had enjoyed the night, after all. Still, Jinyoung couldn't take it as something comforting - maybe Jaebum had written the note to save his own ass, when he really had just hit it and quit it. It was then that he heard voices downstairs, one he recognised from only hours before. He threw on a shirt, heading down the stairs as quietly as he could. Nobody else seemed to be awake yet, and he wished he'd checked his phone for the time. His heart stopped when he peeked into the kitchen, seeing Jaebum stood there talking to Mark, looking even more godly in the daylight.

He looked tired, and he was wearing the same clothes from the night before, albeit for more wrinkled. His hair was raked backwards messily, opening his face up more, and Jinyoung felt the urge to run his fingers through it.

However, his attention was quickly drawn away from Jaebum as Mark slid a fat wad of bills across the counter towards the taller boy, who tucked it into his jacket quickly.'Thanks, JB.' Mark patted him on the shoulder roughly, 'I know you don't usually stay the whole night-'

'It's fine, I don't have any clients today anyway. It was nice to see somebody young for a change. You really didn't need to tip me, though.' Jinyoung's heart was sinking with every word. What did Jaebum mean by clients? Why was Mark slipping him money, tipping him, talking as if they were making a transaction?

'It's fine, Jinyoung is worth the money. He was texting me the whole night about how much he was enjoying himself, I think he really needed this.'

'I've never drank on the job before, you know. And you know I have a rule about kissing my clients... there's just something about Jinyoung. It's a shame things are the way they are. Ah, anyway, I better go before he wakes up. I'll catch you later, Mark.' 

Jinyoung collapsed to the floor before Jaebum could turn around and see him, crawling beneath the dining table and watching his long legs stalk out of the room. He waited for the door to close before he started breathing again, a pain in his heart as if he'd been stabbed. Was this all some kind of sick joke? Had the whole night been fake - just a day on the job for Jaebum? He was furious and hurt and heartbroken, and he couldn't believe his best friend was the one to cause it all.

He crawled out from under the table, feeling his blood boil as he took heavy steps into the kitchen, standing in the doorway until Mark caught sight of him, the older boys eyes going wide.

'Jinyoungie, you're awake?'

'Tell me what the fuck is going on or so help me.'

-

Jaebum stood outside the house for a while before he left, staring up at Jinyoung's window to try and catch one last glance of that beautiful face. The longer he waited, the creepier he felt, and he rolled a cigarette, pushing it between his lips and lighting it slowly just to waste a few more minutes. He took a deep breath, feeling the comforting buzz of nicotine in his veins and finally turned on his heel, walking away from the best job he'd had in a while.

Very rarely did he take a shine to one of his clients, and he never let his guard down enough to break his rules on the job. He had no idea what it was about Jinyoung that made him feel like he could let loose, that made him want to gain the younger mans trust and spoil him. The general age range Jaebum tended to appeal to was usually thirty and up; in fact, he avoided clients around his own age for this exact reason. He was scared he'd get caught up, and it looked like his fears were being realised. 

As he walked he couldn't get Jinyoung out of his mind, from how nervous and sweet he was at first to how confidence oozed from him after a few drinks. Hearing the younger man put himself down constantly had made Jaebum's heart sink, and he wondered if this would be the stepping stone Mark thought it was. The older boy had approached him nearly a month before, explaining how he needed his services to help a friend. The intention was to show Jinyoung a good time, build his confidence up and save him from having a terrible first time. 

Honestly he'd been tempted to say no, to push the point that it wasn't anybody elses business as to when Jinyoung would lose his virginity, or the manner in which he would. The money was too good, though, and he'd had a slow month. Besides that, Mark was Jackson's boyfriend, and he knew his roommate wouldn't get off his back if he turned him down.

It wasn't long before he reached his flat, unlocking the door with numb fingers and slipping off his shoes, ready to crash for a few hours. All night his mind had been buzzing, wondering if he should stay or go. It felt unjust to just dump Jinyoung like that, to leave before he woke up - but he couldn't stay, couldn't give him any ideas. Leaving his number had been a stupid move, but the idea of saying nothing made him feel like shit. 

He could hear Jackson shuffling around in the kitchen, and he called out to let the younger man know he was home. It was rare Jackson was around anymore since he'd started dating Mark. They'd moved in together around the start of their second semester after having hung around for a while in the first, and though Jaebum wasn't studying anymore... he had nowhere else to go.

Jackson hollered back before the kitchen door swung open, revealing the man completely naked and holding a bowl of ramyun casually. 

'Geez, put some clothes on.' Jaebum grumbled, throwing himself down on the sofa without taking his coat off. His head was pounding, and he regretted his decision to buy shots. In fact, he regretted a lot of things he did last night. One of them being that he'd almost slept with Jinyoung while he was intoxicated, something he would never have done if he himself wasn't also drunk. He wanted to tell himself that he would have stopped before they went too far, but he knew he was just trying to comfort himself. Even if they were both drunk, it would have been Jinyoung's first time, not to mention he would have left him there alone when the sun came up.

Some people thought being and escort was the same as being a prostitute, but Jaebum felt there was a difference. Some of his clients just wanted him for sex, true; but a lot of the time the arrangement was that he was there to respect them, to treat them well and make them feel as if someone cared about them, even if only for a night. He had a reputation for being professional, for leaving his clients satisfied and happy; he was sure that if he'd slept with Jinyoung last night, the younger man would have felt quite the opposite.

'Someone's grouchy,' Jackson laughed, mussing his hair as he passed the sofa. Jaebum swatted his hand away. 'Where were you last night?'

'Mark didn't tell you?' Jaebum turned his head as Jackson sat beside him - still buck naked. The younger man shook his head, noodles falling from his mouth sloppily. 'He paid me to take Jinyoung out for his birthday.'

'Fuck, really?' Jackson's eyebrows shot up, broth spluttering from his lips. His surprise was replaced with a seedy smirk. 'He told me Jinyoungie was going on a date, but not that it was with you. Was he good? Did you make him see the stars?'

Jaebum kicked him in the shin, nearly making him spill the boiling broth over his legs and getting a hurt scowl in return. 'He was drunk, we didn't do anything. Well...'

'Well?'

'I kissed him. We kissed a lot, actually. And I was drunk, too.'

Jackson set his bowl down, crossing his legs on the sofa and turning towards Jaebum, giving him a sight he really didn't need to see. 'I thought you said you didn't kiss your clients?'

'I have no idea what happened.' He sighed, throwing his head back against the arm of the sofa tiredly. 'He was just so...'

'Hmmm, has Jinyoungie thawed our Jaebummie's cold little heart at last?' Jackson grinned, and Jaebum tilted his head to scowl at him. 'There's something you're not telling me, I can tell. You never usually talk about your clients unless they were really, really bad.'

Jaebum rolled his eyes as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. 'I left my number.'

Jackson gasped dramatically, hands flailing in excitement, and Jaebum scoffed. 'So you like him?'

'It was a stupid, stupid move.'

Pouting, Jackson crossed his arms. 'Can't you just have a bit of fun for once?'

'You know I can't. Dating will just mess up my work, I can't afford it.'

'Maybe it's time to get another job.' Jackson raised an eyebrow, and Jaebum lay back down, throwing an arm over his face.

'I wish it was that easy.'

'Why does it have to be difficult?'

Jaebum sat up again with a heavy sigh, crossing his legs and playing with his hands. 'You know I can't afford to quit what I'm doing. Being paid by the night is different to being paid monthly, there's no way I could keep up with my debts.'

Jackson was eating again, lips slapping together in a way that irritated Jaebum to no end. 'Have you talked to your parents lately?'

'And say what? ''Hi Mom, Hi Dad, I know you despise me and would rather pretend I was dead, but by any chance could you pay my tuition debt and reinstate my inheritance?'''

'Shit's still bad, then?' 

'They didn't even text me on my birthday. Even my grandparents don't call.' He picked at his short nails absently, peeling away at his cracked black nail polish. 'I fucked everything up.'

Jackson clicked his tongue, slapping his hand to Jaebum's shoulder and shaking him roughly in what he probably thought was a comforting gesture. 'You didn't do anything wrong, you know that. They're the ones in the wrong.' 

He nodded solemnly, if only to make Jackson cease his firm grip. He hated emotional moments, preferring anger over tears. 'Anyway, I'm going to bed. I can't stand the sight of your tiny dick anymore.'

'You shouldn't be looking, you pervert.'

Jaebum flipped him off as he stood up and trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, sluggishly shrugging out of his coat and pulling his clothes off, leaving them in a messy pile on his floor. His curtains were still shut from the night before - though really he never opened them. There wasn't a single clean space in his room, every surface covered in clothes or jewelry or old dishes and mugs. He couldn't remember the last time he'd changed his sheets, either. He dived onto the bed, not even bothering to pull the duvet over himself as he burrowed his face into his pillow.

He didn't know whether he wanted Jinyoung to contact him or not; nervous for both outcomes. When the younger man had rambled on about his childhood, and how his parents had practically disowned him when they found out he was gay, something had clicked within him. Their stories were startlingly similar, and it made him feel closer to Jinyoung, a connection forming whether he wanted it to or not.

Jaebum's father had set him up to take over his business eventually, watching over him closely and putting him through college. He was the model child, the spitting image of his mother and the pride of every business meeting or gathering. He still remembered the look on his mothers face when she'd opened the door to his dorm that day, the way his father's fist had felt colliding with his jaw.

They didn't know he'd taken on film and photography on the side, even if it was the only reason he actually visited campus. They'd come to visit to find out why his grades were dropping, why his attendance was so poor. When they'd cut him out of their lives, they stopped paying his fees. A guy he was sleeping with at the time mentioned how much money he could make stripping, especially with a face like his, and he'd been so desperate to make money quickly that he'd dived headfirst into the pit he was in now.

Stripping was nothing compared to the money he made now. In Korea, strip bars were so underground there were barely any patrons to rinse for cash. People didn't want to be caught entering or exiting, nor did they like to feel seedy or debased. Escorting was more subtle, less frowned upon. It sounded better than prostitute, and it was safer - not to mention far, far more lucrative. Sometime's he made enough for a months rent in just one night.

At first he'd been frivolous with his newfound wealth, wasting it all on clothes and drink and drugs. Even that got tiring after a while, though, and he got smarter, saving every penny. Nothing material could fill the ache in his heart at night or the loneliness of his own head, anyway. A few more years and he'd have enough saved to pay everything back, maybe even move somewhere new, but the idea made him uneasy. He was displaced in life, thrown off track by a mile and reeling at the prospect of getting his world back in order.

Seeing Jinyoung was like looking into a mirror and seeing what he could have been; taking the distance of his parents as a chance at freedom, at being who he was. Somehow it felt wrong to even entertain the thought of bringing Jinyoung into his world, to taint him with his own troubles. But, by God, did he want to taste those lips again.

Rolling over, he stared up at his cieling, wondering what Jinyoung was doing right now, if he was thinking of him too. Not once had he thought about a client after work, always taking the money and getting out of there as soon as possible. His clients were usually old business men in unhappy relationships, stuck in the closet and needing reprieve. They liked his youth, his edginess, bringing air to their stuffy lungs. He'd had a few proclaim their love for him, and many times he'd had to roll away from a kiss or subtly pour away a glass of whisky. If there was one thing Jaebum wasn't, it was stupid.

Right now, however, stupid was exactly what he felt like. His chest was warm as he recalled the look on Jinyoung's face after he'd kissed him the first time, so innocent and unsure. He wondered when he'd lost that in himself, when he'd become this husk of a man. Something about Jinyoung had brought his old self back, made him want to make Jinyoung smile without a thought towards the cash he'd be paid the next day. 

The younger man had been a vision in the darkness of his bedroom, kneeling above him with the light from the window spilling over his pale skin. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been genuinely aroused while working, when his cock had risen without him having to will it into action. He could still feel the way Jinyoung had rolled against him in the club, the way his lips had parted while he was lost in the music, the heat of his body. 

Trailing a hand down his bare chest, he sucked in a breath, fingers dipping beneath the fabric of his boxers and wrapping around his hardening length. It had taken him a good few minutes to realise Jinyoung had fallen asleep, and honestly it had made him feel all bizarre and fuzzy inside. Just looking after him so tenderly was out of character for Jaebum - if any other client had fallen asleep like that he would have taken their wallet and bounced. Jinyoung had cuddled into his side as soon as he'd rested beside him, hands curled into his shirt, and he'd found himself counting his lashes, listening to every soft breath that left his lips.

He stroked himself slowly, trying to imagine what kind of expressions Jinyoung could have showed him if they'd gone further, trying to conjure the sounds he might have made in his mind. It didn't take long for him to go tense, spilling over his hands and gasping as he shook through his orgasm. He couldn't remember the last time he'd touched himself, and he was pretty sure he'd never came to the thought of someone before. 

Jinyoung was going to be extremely bad for business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll elaborate on Jaebum's story in the next chapter! thank you for reading/commenting!


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an: thank you all for commenting/kudos! this is the last chapter - it's 10k words so i hope it's enough~
> 
> warning: jinyoung rolls his eyes a lot in this chapter haha

'Calm down, Jinyoung-'

'Am I so disgusting that people need to be paid to look at me?' Jinyoung yelled through the tears choking his throat. 'Do you pity me that much?' Mark reached out to hold him, but he shook him off as if his touch burned. 'Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't talk to me.'

Jinyoung left Mark alone in the kitchen, stumbling into his bedroom on weak legs. As he sobbed into his pillow, he couldn't stop asking himself how he'd been so gullible, so easy. Was anything Jaebum said to him last night real? Had he truly wanted to kiss him or was that just part of his job description? He could still smell him on his sheets, still remember the way his eyes turned to thin lines when he smiled.

The ache didn't subside, but the tears did. Jinyoung was never one to sit around and feel sorry for himself, and it wasn't long before he was hunched over his desk again, eyes sore and dry as he distracted himself from thoughts of tattooed forearms and throaty chuckles. He kept losing his place in the textbook he was reading, constantly seeing Jaebum's name within the paragraphs. 

He sat back, frustrated, and dragged his palms over his eyes, willing himself to get a grip. He turned his head when a gentle knock sounded from his doorway, and saw Mark standing there hesitantly.

'Can we talk?' He asked, and Jinyoung nodded softly, sighing.

Mark sat on his bed quietly, and for a while the only sounds were their breathing and the drag of Jinyoung's pencil. Finally, Mark spoke up. 'I didn't mean for it to end up like this. I just wanted you to have a good time.'

Jinyoung felt himself bristle, but fought to keep himself calm, not tearing his eyes away from the textbook he'd long since stopped reading. 'It says a lot that you think I can't have a good time without you buying me a prostitute.' He muttered, and Mark huffed behind him. Jinyoung could almost feel the older man's frown burning into his neck.

'Look, I understand why you're mad, Jinyoung, but cut me some slack. You had a good night, and Jaebum enjoyed himself too-'

'Of course he enjoyed himself. I would enjoy myself if I was getting a big wad of cash for it too.'

Mark let out a frustrated groan, 'Can't you just take this as a good thing? It doesn't have to be a big deal, nothing bad happened-'

Jinyoung finally reached the end of his patience, standing and turning to Mark with balled fists. 'You're not the one who's been made a fool of. I don't even want to look at you. Get out.'

Mark's face went blank as he stood stiffly, walking to the door without further comment until he stopped with his hand on the door frame, not turning his head.

'Don't let something this stupid break us, Jinyoung.' He breathed, and Jinyoung sighed deeply.

'I just don't want to talk about it right now, give me some time alone.'

Mark nodded his head slightly before disappearing, leaving Jinyoung standing there alone. He unballed his fists, feeling as if he wanted to just curl up in bed for a millennia and never face anybody again. It was true that it wasn't worth losing Mark over this, but the man had done him such a wrongness he just couldn't bear to be near him until the hurt was less fresh, less sore.

-

Weeks passed after Jinyoung's sham of a date, and he found himself swamped by coursework, completely absorbed in study. It came as a surprise when his parents came to visit unannounced one day, bursting his bubble of worldly ignorance. They met him in a coffee shop, and he guessed it was so they'd feel in control; it wasn't as if Jinyoung could scream or shout at them without making a scene there.

'Jinyoungie,' His mother cooed in the sickly sweet way she always did, as if nothing had happened between them. 'We have a girl we'd like you to meet. She's very beautiful, and her father could give you a high position in his company.' She reached across the table gingerly, taking his hand in hers. 'We miss you, son.'

The urge to roll his eyes was hard to fight, tired with the insincerity of it all. He was sure they did miss him, but not in the way he wanted them to. His fathers face could have been cut from marble, unmoving and rigid. It was actually a shock to Jinyoung when his stiff lips finally moved.

'It's time you came home. No more of this silly business, these friends you're confusing yourself with. They're bad for you.'

'Bad for your reputation, you mean.' Jinyoung muttered bitterly, and his fathers face reddened at his words.

'We've done everything for you, and this is the attitude we get!' He bristled, and his mother turned her face away with a sour expression. 'These people you hang around with are ill, Jinyoung. I won't have my son falling to their sick, perverted ways.'

Jinyoung bit his lip, trying hard to hold his words back. It didn't work, though, and his lips parted whether he wanted them to or not.

'It's not an illness.' He breathed, not making eye contact. His father's colour was closely resembling a tomato.

'What?' He asked, less of a question and more of a warning.

'It's not an illness. My whole life I've listened to you demean my existence, deny what- who I am. I'm gay.' 

His mother snatched her hand away suddenly, going pale. 'Keep your voice down.' She muttered sharply, and Jinyoung huffed.

'I don't have leprosy, mother. You can touch me, it's not contagious.'

'Don't speak to her like that.' His father snapped firmly, and Jinyoung still felt himself flinch at his voice. 'We won't accept this lunacy.'

'Whether you accept it or not, nothing will change. I'm happy here, with these people. I don't have to lie to them, they love me for who I am.'

His mother put on the waterworks, then, clutching a napkin to her face as she sniffed obnoxiously. 'See, this is what you do to us.' His father appealed, hands waving wildly. 'You're an embarrassment. I don't know what's happened to you-'

'Nothing has happened to me.' Jinyoung shook his head, eyes imploring. 'The only thing that's different is that I'm away from you, away from your smothering and ignorance. You'd rather pretend nothing's happening than open your eyes and accept the truth.'

'You think we'll keep sending you money to fund your blasphemy?'

'I can get a job. I don't need to depend on you.'

'If that's how you want it to be, then fine. This is the end of it, no son of ours will shame us like this.'

Jinyoung only nodded solemnly, feeling relief wash through him. He was right, he was no son of theirs.

-

At first he'd felt triumphant after the showdown with his parents, but it wasn't long before the weight of the finances he could no longer pay were pressing down upon him. Handing his woefully empty resumé in to every establishment he walked past bore no fruit; if he did get a call, the interview would go nowhere and he ended up feeling less confident after every rejection. It was when he spoke to Youngjae over breakfast that the younger boy mentioned that he worked at a café on campus, offering to put a word in for him. Jinyoung nearly squeezed the life out of him in thanks, littering his face with wet kisses until BamBam intervened, saving the poor kid.

He'd expected it to be hard going, but after a few shifts he was better than most people there. He had a few regulars, girls who would twirl their hair and make their order as long as possible just to steal some of his time. It was his seventh shift when somebody he hadn't seen before showed up, walking in with a man who's face Jinyoung couldn't quite catch before he sat down with his back to him. The girl had a sweet voice, ordering two coffees to their table before she left Jinyoung to make them.

When Jinyoung brought the coffees over, his blood ran cold, frozen in place with shaking hands. They didn't notice him at first, and he watched Jaebum playing with her hands, admiring the gold band on her finger. She was giggling at whatever he was saying, and Jinyoung was sick with jealousy. Slamming the mugs down between them, he watched as Jaebum recoiled, hot coffee spilling over and scalding his hand. His head snapped up to curse Jinyoung out, but he stilled when their eyes met.

'Jinyoung?' He breathed, an odd expression on his face. Jinyoung pretended he didn't hear, smiling sweetly and politely asking them to enjoy their drinks before he turned on his heel and walked away as calmly as he could. The smile fell from his lips as soon as his back was turned, tears stinging his eyes. He practically dived into the staff room, catching Youngjae coming off his break.

'Please, Youngjae, cover for me.' He almost sobbed, clutching at the younger boys shoulders. Youngjae looked at him like he was crazy, holding onto Jinyoung carefully as if he might break.

'Hyung, what's wrong? You look pale, are you ill? Don't worry about it.'

Jinyoung thanked him profusely, crushing him into a bone breaking hug until Youngjae choked for breath. He left out the back, unable to stomach seeing Jaebum's face again.

The walk home was long, people giving him strange looks as he passed by at the sight of his tear-streaked face. Why was he still hurting when it was weeks ago? He had no right to be hurt seeing Jaebum with other people - it was his job. Jinyoung was a job too. It meant nothing.

A nagging thought wouldn't leave his mind, though, Mark's voice ringing in his ears. The older boy had definitely mentioned how Jaebum exclusively worked with guys.

The memory of the gold band around the girls slender finger wouldn't fade.

-

Time moved like treacle, but Jinyoung had finally handed in his assignments, one weight lifted from his aching back. BamBam had arranged a massive party, as almost everybody was free from exams and assessments. It was obvious people had been swamped with work, the whole house heaving with bodies as people blew off steam. Jinyoung hadn't let loose in a while, and the last time he'd drank had been with Jaebum, so he was eager to make... different memories.

He wandered the party, peeking into the living room to see the younger boys playing strip poker with a few unknown faces and losing horribly. He had no idea Yugyeom was so bloody ripped, and it made him a little self conscious. Maybe it was time to start hitting the gym over the holidays. He passed Jackson and Mark engrossed in a game of beer pong, a pang of guilt hitting him for a moment. He hadn't traded words with his best friend since they'd argued, too embarrassed to make the first move. He knew the older boy wouldn't make a big deal about it, but Jinyoung could be ridiculously stubborn.

He couldn't help but grin widely as he entered the kitchen to find Youngjae sucking face with the girl he liked, feeling smug that it was his fault they'd even spoken to each other. He patted him roughly on the shoulder as he grabbed a bottle of vodka off the table, the younger boy not even budging. Jinyoung had grown a certain talent for hosting over the various parties they'd thrown, always wandering around to make sure people were having a good time and felt comfortable. Eventually he grew tired of the heat and noise and took a break, stepping out into the back garden and breathing the fresh winter air. He didn't see Jaebum leaning against the wall, smoking alone in the darkness.

Sipping his drink, he sat down on a step, nearly spilling the whole thing over himself when a shadow emerged, setting itself down beside him. His eyes were wide as he stared at Jaebum, heart racing at the warmth of his knee touching his own. He noticed how tired Jaebum looked, hair messy and bags grey and deep beneath his piercing eyes.

'Hey.' Throaty and deep, the voice Jinyoung had been hearing in his dreams for weeks. Jinyoung could only whisper a cracked 'Hey' in return, wondering if he was hallucinating. He hadn't seen Jaebum around the party at all.

'How are you?'

'I'm fine.' Jinyoung mumbled, and Jaebum nodded slowly, licking his lips before he sighed.

'You never called.' The words left him as if he'd been waiting to say them for a while, and Jinyoung's eyebrows shot up, confused until he remembered the slip of paper he'd ripped to shreds. 'I was waiting and waiting but there was nothing,' He sighed, 'Next thing I know you're scalding me with coffee and acting like you've never seen my face before.'

Jinyoung was taken aback by the idea of Jaebum actually waiting for him to call, but he was still suspicious of his sincerity, struggling to meet the older man's eyes.

'I didn't want to interrupt you while you were working.'

He knew he sounded sulky and petulant, and Jaebum looked at him quizzically.

'Working?'

Jinyoung couldn't help the mean edge to his voice. 'You were with a client, weren't you?'

Jaebum looked at him for a moment before a flash of hurt passed over his face. 'That was my sister. She came to show me her engagement ring. What do you mean by client?'

Embarrassment burned at Jinyoung's cheeks at the revelation, unable to believe how long he'd sulked thinking Jaebum was engaged. He was in too deep now, though, to pull himself out of the grave he was digging. 'You're an escort, aren't you? I thought...'

Jaebum's looked sad, disappointed, and Jinyoung felt regret for even saying anything, his anger completely dissipating in place of guilt.

'I'm sorry, Jinyoung. Mark was adamant that you shouldn't know who I was or what I did.' He shook his head slowly, thoughtfully. 'I don't do that anymore, anyway.' 

'Do what?'

'Escorting.'

'Why?'

Jaebum looked at him, then, a twinkle in his eye and Jinyoung felt his heart skip a beat. How long had he been waiting to be trapped in that gaze once more? 'Because I met someone who was more important than the money.'

The warmth he felt before turned to burning jealousy, and he could only smile weakly. Though he was hurt, heart tender and wounded, he couldn't help but feel as if they could be good friends after this. Jaebum wasn't his, was never his. It was an infatuation, and if Jaebum was off limits, maybe it would be easier for him to move on.

'I'm glad you found someone.' He breathed, and Jaebum looked puzzled for a moment before he chuckled throatily.

'Yeah, it's just a shame this guy is a bit dense. I met him a while ago while I was working but... it didn't really feel like work, you know? I even left him my number and he didn't call.' His tone was wistful, playful, and Jinyoung felt like he'd stumbled into a trap. Jaebum was smirking in the way that made Jinyoung's insides twist, and he couldn't help but pout.

'You're not funny.' He mumbled petulantly, even if his heart was pounding in anticipation, and Jaebum laughed heartily, tapping Jinyoung's leg before he held his hand out.

'Give me your phone.' He asked abruptly, and Jinyoung looked at him in confusion.

'What, why?'

'I want to make sure you call me this time. Let's start again.'

They sat out there the whole night talking about nothing and everything until Jaebum popped inside for a bottle of wine, and Jinyoung took a moment to catch his breath. He was overwhelmed at seeing Jaebum again, feeling caught up in the older man once more. There was something about Jaebum that made Jinyoung feel like he was taking a chance, jumping into the deep end, and it was dangerous how badly he wanted to take the risk. He'd almost forgotten how easy he was to talk to, how every lingering glance would set his skin tingling.

When the back door opened again, he looked up to see Jaebum leaning seductively against the door frame, bottle in hand. Jinyoung couldn't help but laugh, and Jaebum swaggered over to sit back down, two glasses clinking in his long fingers. He poured them both a glass, and they clicked their glasses together, a cheeky look in Jaebum's eyes as he took a slow sip.

Jinyoung couldn't help but purse his lips at the taste, a look of pure disgust twisting his features, and Jaebum laughed suddenly, wine bursting from his mouth as he choked. Jinyoung found himself laughing along, patting Jaebum's back softly as the older man coughed.

'What's so funny?' He managed between giggles. Jaebum just shook his head, smirking before taking another sip.

'You don't like wine?' He asked with a smile on his lips, and Jinyoung shook his head softly with a frown.

'It tastes so bad, but I'll bear with it if I want to get drunk.' Jaebum's mouth quirked at the side.

'You know, I don't like it too much either.' Jaebum leaned in as if he was sharing a big secret. 'Somehow I just got used to drinking it and I can barely taste the stuff anymore.'

To prove his point, he tossed the whole glass of wine down his throat, adams apple bobbing slowly with every gulp, and Jinyoung watched, almost tasting the vile liquid himself.

'That's so wrong.' He laughed when Jaebum had finished the glass without so much as a grimace, winking as he ran his tongue over his stained lips.

'There's something I think would take the edge off that, though.' Jaebum said huskily, and Jinyoung found himself leaning closer just to hear him. It was far too late when he realised Jaebum was leaning in with intent, and he could have melted when he felt those lips press firmly to his own - far more sober than the last time, and far more wanting of the touch. Jaebum's hand came to rest at Jinyoung's nape, easing him in to the kiss, and it was over far too soon. They pulled apart with a soft noise, soft breaths exhaled against each other's lips. When Jinyoung opened his eyes, Jaebum looked almost scared, as if Jinyoung would run for the hills any second. Jinyoung just smiled at him softly.

'This won't cost me anything, will it?' He asked playfully, and Jaebum tilted his head slightly, thumb still rubbing circles against the back of Jinyoung's ear.

'Only your time and patience.'

They didn't return to the party, instead weaving their way through the throng of bodies to Jinyoung's bedroom, avoiding Jinyoung's housemates as much as they could. Jinyoung was pretty sure he heard someone whistle from the living room, but he ignored it. He had Jaebum now, and he wasn't getting interrupted for any reason.

He was nervous, but he couldn't help thinking how natural Jaebum looked standing in the middle of his room as if he was meant to be there. Jinyoung sat on his bed stiffly, trying to quell his stuttering heartbeat. It was different being in here compared to outside; the bedroom had connotations, and he didn't know how he should be acting, what words they should be exchanging.

Jaebum was casually looking around his bedroom quietly as if it was the most interesting place he'd ever been. He tentatively picked up a photo frame that was placed downwards on Jinyoung's desk, a picture of him with his parents as a child. The older man quirked an eyebrow when he turned to look at him.

'Things still not any better, huh?'

Jinyoung pursed his lips and shrugged. 'I'm surprised you remember, but no. They visited recently, told me they had a girl they wanted me to get acquainted with. Of course, they cut their ties with me when I told them I was a raging homosexual.'

Jaebum chuckled at that, looking at the photograph once more before setting it down. 'You were a cute kid.' Jinyoung smiled softly, but tensed when Jaebum came to lie on the bed beside him, arms behind his head. 'My parents are the arranged marriage type. Had me a wife ready when I was barely out of the womb, never even met the girl.'

Jinyoung's eyes went wide as he stared down at Jaebum in shock. 'You're married?' He gasped, and Jaebum smirked.

'No, things didn't work out that way.'

Jinyoung would have clutched his chest, still reeling from his near-heart attack. Instead he collected himself like a normal human being.

'You say that a lot.'

'You want to hear the story?'

'Please.' Jinyoung wanted to know everything about Jaebum, desperate for the mystery to be solved.

Jaebum groaned, sitting up comfortably against the wall with his legs touching Jinyoung's thigh as he began to pick at a fraying string on the rip of his jeans. 'I already told you my parents wanted me to take over the business, right?' He looked to the younger man, and Jinyoung nodded, 'Well, my dad pretty much planned my whole college career out for me. I ditched all the lessons he wanted me to attend once I got here; sneaking into film seminars and going to photography classes I wasn't enrolled in. They came to visit to see why my grades were so low, why my attendance was slipping. Theyd given no warning, of course, so I wasn't ready for them to burst into my room unannounced.'

Jaebum sighed, obviously in discomfort at the memory. 'So there I was, buck naked banging some guy I was into at the time, bong on the table and everything. I could have died on the spot. My dad dragged me out into the hallway and punched me so hard I thought I'd never speak again.' Jinyoung could only squeeze his thigh comfortingly, lost for words. 'I'd never seen my mom cry before then, it was awful. I haven't seen either of them since. My dad wasn't much of a loss, but my mom never did anything wrong. My sister still keeps in contact with me though - as you know.' Jaebum smirked, then, and Jinyoung screwed his face up. 'She's actually going through with her marriage. Thankfully she likes the guy. He'll be inheriting the company instead of me; though I couldn't care less.'

Jinyoung was gripped, wanting to know everything about Jaebum and almost short circuiting trying to figure out how to ask for more.

'Was that after you became an escort?'

Jaebum shook his head softly. 'No. Once the money was gone I needed something quickly or I'd be out on the street. I was a stripper for a while.' Jinyoung must have looked shocked, because Jaebum winked at him devilishly. 'I could show you a few moves, Jinyoungie.'

He felt himself flush just at the thought, slapping the older man's thigh to stop his teasing. Jaebum chuckled throatily, and Jinyoung didn't know he could feel so at ease with someone who only weeks ago had been paid to sleep with him.

'What are you doing now, then, if you don't escort anymore?'

Jaebum shrugged, 'I met up with some friends I used to dance with before, we hang out sometimes. I'm getting back into it slowly. For money, Jackson's dad set me up managing one of his restaurants, says I have good leadership skills.'

Jaebum looked smug just repeating the praise, and Jinyoung couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for him.

He knew his questions were beginning to take on the tone of an interview, but he couldn't resist. 'Do you think you'll miss escorting?'

Jaebum didn't hesitate to shake his head, 'Having a sweaty old man falling asleep on top of you every night really isn't the life, no matter how much money you're making. I didn't even realise I was depressed until after I met you.' He paused, looking away for a moment. 'Even Jackson didn't know - he met me after I started stripping, just before I dropped out of college completely. I guess he'd never seen me any differently.'

Jinyoung could see Jaebum's thoughts lingering on the negative, and he nudged the conversation in a different direction. 'It's crazy how we didn't know each other when we have so many friends in common.'

'Jackson mentioned you guys to me a few times, but I was too caught up in my own thing. It would have been nice if we'd met under different circumstances, maybe things wouldn't be so fucked up between us.' Jinyoung frowned at that and Jaebum caught the expression, quickly adding to his harsh statement. 'After all this shit I know you wont trust me for a while, and I respect that. Honestly I wasn't going to come tonight, but the idea of seeing you again, being able to explain things, I just couldn't stay away.' Somehow Jaebum had a way of saying cheesy things in the most casual way imaginable, and Jinyoung couldn't stop himself from smiling softly, feeling warm and tingly like a young girl being confessed to by her crush. There was one more question burning on his tongue though, something he'd been wondering for a while.

'That night, did we... did we?'

'What? Sleep together?' Jinyoung nodded, suddenly regretting even bringing it up. Jaebum didn't seem to care, answering as nonchalantly as he answered every question Jinyoung offered.

'No, you fell asleep. It was for the best, too; you were really drunk. If we'd slept together I doubt you'd even consider talking to me like this.'

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. 'You were drunk, too.'

Jaebum sighed, 'Maybe, but even then I was working; it would have been your first time, and you would have woken up alone in the morning feeling like shit. More shit than you probably ended up feeling, anyway.'

Jinyoung understood what he was saying, glad to have clarity over the whole situation. 'How noble of you.' He smirked, seeing Jaebum mockingly puff out his chest with pride. He shifted, crossing his legs while he faced Jinyoung inquisitively.

'What are you doing after you graduate? You have a year left, right? I never asked what you study.'

Jinyoung hummed, moving to lie his head in Jaebum's lap and almost purring when his fingers began to card through his hair. 'Nothing special; I do drama and linguistics with some art history on the side. I might just teach English for a while once I'm done... make a dent in this student debt.'

Jaebum seemed interested, 'Drama? Is our shy little Jinyoungie actually the next Tom Cruise?'

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, feeling a slight thrill run through him at Jaebum's interest in something he was rarely asked about. 'I can cry on cue, wanna see?'

Jaebum raised an eyebrow but nodded softly, moving his legs to lie down beside him, and Jinyoung focused for a moment, watching as Jaebum's expression turned to one of panic. 'Woah, woah, that's way too realistic, how do you do that?'

Jinyoung wiped his eyes, trying to stop his hiccuping breaths. 'I just think of a time I felt really, really bad and they flow out.'

Jaebum swiped at a stray tear, looking at him consideringly. 'What do you usually think about, if you don't mind me asking?'

Jinyoung cringed slightly, embarrassed. 'It's kind of stupid, really, but it upset me at the time. One Christmas I really wanted this toy; I begged and begged for it - I never asked for anything at Christmas usually, but this time I really wanted it. Woke up on Christmas day to the same stuff my parents got every Christmas, and my they pretended I hadn't asked for anything else. I didn't cry then, but I wanted to.'

'What did you ask for?' 

'Ah, don't make me say it.' Jaebum's eyes lit up at his reluctance, seeing a chance to tease. He nudged him with his knee insistently, and Jinyoung caved with a hefty sigh. 'I wanted one of those Barbie playhouse sets with the Ken doll and the shoes and the big pink castle - don't laugh, you shit, I was twelve.'

Jaebum was still snorting, eyes in thin lines, and somehow Jinyoung found himself enjoying the teasing. 'And your parents still didn't think something was different about you? Was that around the time you were asking for superhero figurines just so you could take their clothes off and look at their muscles?'

Jinyoung looked at him bizarrely, 'No, was that what you did?'

Jaebum scrunched his face up, caught. 'That wasn't supposed to come back to hit me, shit.'

They laughed together for a while, and Jinyoung could hear Mark and Jackson stumbling upstairs to Mark's bedroom noisily. Their laughter had subsided and Jaebum was looking at him intensely, gaze dropping to his lips every few seconds, and Jinyoung couldn't help but wet them anxiously, heart picking up a running pace. Jaebum closed the distance slowly, and Jinyoung felt as if he'd been without Jaebum's taste for far too long, even if he'd felt his lips barely an hour before.

Jaebum slipped a hand around his waist, moving closer to him on the bed as he deepened the kiss, and Jinyoung could have melted into the mattress with the sweetness of it. He scraped his fingers through Jaebum's auburn hair, parting his lips to let the older man lick slowly into his mouth, entwining his tongue with his own skillfully.

They lay there for a while, just kissing indulgently, and it seemed Jaebum would be content to just kiss him to death. Jinyoung wondered if it was because it was such a rarity for him, but either way, the younger man had other things on his mind. His hand slipped from Jaebum's hair to gently trace the expanse of his neck, sliding down his firm chest until his fingertips were teasing at his belt, dipping lower to play with the teeth of his zipper.

Jaebum pulled away, eyes darting between them to take in Jinyoung's fingers fluttering against his zip, before he met his eyes darkly. Jinyoung bit his lip coyly, pressing his hand firmly against Jaebum's crotch; the shyness he'd felt last time he'd had his hand in the same place was completely forgotten. Jaebum sighed softly, hand moving from Jinyoung's waist to squeeze his backside firmly before he sat up, turning Jinyoung onto his back and leaning down to reclaim his lips.

Jinyoung wrapped his legs around Jaebum's waist, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt before he grew impatient and tugged the fabric up roughly. The older man broke the kiss, kneeling to pull his shirt over his head and smirking at Jinyoung's expression, watching as he took in the toned chest and tattooed skin. Jinyoung ran his fingers up Jaebum's forearms slowly, tracing the inky lines and bands before he met the older mans eyes again, seeing him looking back with an odd expression.

He doesn't have time to ask what's wrong before Jaebum is pulling at his shirt, dragging it over his head roughly and gripping his sharp hips, leaning down to press his lips to Jinyoung's chest and dragging his tongue over a nipple filthily. Jinyoung arched at the sensation, the wetness of Jaebum's tongue and the slight drag of teeth over the sensitive flesh. He raked one hand through Jaebum's hair, the other trying to find purchase on his broad back. Jaebum's head moved lower, kissing and sucking at Jinyoung's pale, untouched skin; tongue dipping teasingly into his bellybutton quickly and making the younger man shudder.

Pulling Jaebum up to kiss him once again, his hands slipped down the smooth expanse of his lower back, over the swell of his ass before he moved them between them, slowly unfastening the older mans belt. Jaebum's hand came to rest atop his own, stilling his motions as his kisses ceased, and Jinyoung looked up at the redhead in confusion, wondering if he'd done something wrong or gone too far.

'Are you sure you want to do this?' Jaebum breathed against Jinyoung's lips, and he nodded without hesitation, attempting to move his hands to work at Jaebum's belt again, but the older didn't budge. 'Look at me,' He insisted, and Jinyoung met his eyes, 'I need to hear you say it.'

Jinyoung felt too warm suddenly, dizzy and bewildered, but there were no second thoughts or hesitation when the words slipped from his lips.

'i want you.'

Jaebum kissed him like a man drowning, pushing Jinyoung's hands away to remove his own belt and Jinyoung;s afterwards, before he sat back with lungs straining for breath, tugging his own jeans down roughly. Jinyoung watched hungrily as more of Jaebum's body was revealed to his roaming eyes; strong thighs and a firm backside. His boxers were tight and hugged his slender form deliciously, and it gave Jinyoung a thrill to see the impressive semi tenting the fabric, just the thought of being the object of Jaebum's arousal making his mouth go dry.

'Like what you see?' Jaebum snickered, and Jinyoung just folded his hands behind his head cockily, shrugging. 

'What if I do?'

Jaebum cocked an eyebrow, a devious smile spreading over his lips as he kneeled over Jinyoung, hands darting out suddenly to tug at the younger mans jeans. Jinyoung yelped in surprise, cocky demeanor quickly ruffled as he kicked wildly at the older boy, causing a few 'oof's and 'argh's; until Jaebum had him free of the fabric, legs bared and a blush creeping down his chest. Jaebum looked smug, and Jinyoung could only hide his face behind his hands, embarrassed by how visibly hard he was. For some reason he'd decided to wear the most unsexy underwear that night, tiny teddybears on a pink floral fabric, and he could hear Jaebum's laughter trying to escape his pursed lips. 

'How was I supposed to know I'd be getting laid tonight?' He finally grumbled, moving his hands to glare up at Jaebum's stupid face. 

'Jinyoungie-ah, you're driving me crazy.' He managed between repressed giggles, and Jinyoung was taken back to a very different night when Jaebum had whispered the same thing to him, over the blare of music, a very different tone to his voice. 'God, I could just eat you.' He crooned, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes until he caught the shift in Jaebum's expression. 'I could, if you wanted me to.'

Jinyoung looked at him like he was mad, confused at whatever gibberish he was speaking and growing more and more impatient the longer his dick wasn't free from his underwear. 'You could what?' He asked lazily.

'Eat you.'

'What do you even mean by that? Cannibalism really doesn't turn me on.'

Jaebum seemed overly pleased that he'd asked that question, his eyes lightning up playfully. 'It means,' He started slowly, hand trailing down Jinyoung's chest, fingers dancing over his cock and making his breath hitch. 'Licking,' His fingers teased over his balls. 'And sucking,' Jinyoung's legs spread slightly, hips jumping when those long fingers moved between his legs, circling his hole teasingly. 'Here.'

'That's filthy,' Jinyoung breathed, unable to draw his eyes away from where Jaebum's hand had disappeared to. 

'Sometimes being filthy can feel good. Besides, if you're clean down there it hardly matters.'

Jaebum was so blunt about it that Jinyoung couldn't help but ask, 'Do you do that a lot? The eating thing?'

'It's calling rimming, and no. Some guys ask to do it to me but it can be fiddly with all the protection you have to wear. Doesn't feel as good with a mouth full of rubber.'

'Protection?'

'There are plenty of ways to get STI's, Jinyoungie. I do a lot of things that might kill me, but I refuse to die because of stupid shit like that.'

Jaebum was refreshing in his honesty and frankness, but it brought another thing to Jinyoung's attention.

'I don't have condoms.'

'Ah, shit.' Jaebum clicked his tongue. 'It's rare I leave the house without any. but yeah I'm all empty too. Do you even have lube?' Jinyoung shook his head, slightly flustered by his lack of preparedness, and Jaebum sighed, sitting back on the balls of his feet.

'There's only one thing for it, then.' He droned solemnly, and Jinyoung felt his heart drop. 'You'll have to go and ask Mark for some.'

That wasn't what Jinyoung had been expecting him to say. He was anticipating 'looks like we'll have to do this another night' but this was so much worse. 'Why do I have to go? Jackson's up there, you ask!' He whined, and Jaebum rolled away to his side, hands behind his head as he closed his eyes, smug smile on his lips.

'I'm a guest in this house, it wouldn't be proper.'

-

As he stood outside Mark's door, Jinyoung wanted to die. He pulled his robe tighter around him, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. Something about standing outside your best friends bedroom with a raging erection was seriously bizarre. Finally plucking up the courage to knock, he listens to the sound of shuffling, feet landing heavily on the floor and trudging over. The door opened quickly to reveal a thoroughly debauched Mark, hair askew and shirtless with his jeans undone, lips red and swollen.

'Sorry to interrupt,' He mumbled awkwardly, and Mark raised an eyebrow.

'What's up?' The older boy asked with a rough voice, and Jinyoung had to take a breath to ready himself for what he was about to ask.

'...lube...con...ms' He croaked, and Mark looked at him as if he was speaking another language.

'What? Have you lost your voice or something?'

Jinyoung balled his fists, calling upon the strength he knew was within him. 'Can I borrow some lube and condoms?' His voice came out a lot louder than he'd anticipated this time, and he could hear Jackson's hyena laugh from the darkness of Mark's room. He was sure he'd turned a dangerous shade of red, and it took an enormous amount of strength to meet Mark's amused eyes.

'So I guess this means you've forgiven me, then?'

Jinyoung just pulled a face, wishing Mark would end his torture, and the older man ruffled his hair with a grin. He disappeared for a moment before returning with the goods. 'Go get him, kid.' He winked, and Jinyoung wanted nothing more than to curl up and die.

-

When he willed his heart to return to a normal pace, he opened his door and was welcomed with the sight of Jaebum reclining casually on the bed, completely naked with his cock standing proudly between his legs, hand slowly teasing the length as he smirked languidly at Jinyoung's dumbstruck face. He beckoned with his fingers, 'Come here.'

Jinyoung felt his feet moving without telling them to, shrugging off his robe and throwing Mark's generous gifts onto the bed before Jaebum grabbed him and pulled him on top of him. They kissed messily and Jaebum snatched his hand, wrapping it around his cock. A shock ran through Jinyoung at the feel of it, similar yet startlingly different to his own, thicker and deliciously hard in his grip. Jaebum's hands were caressing his backside beneath the fabric of his boxers, kneading at the flesh and sending spikes of pleasure up Jinyoung's spine.

Jinyoung gasped when he felt a slender digit drag against his hole teasingly, and he pressed back against it urgently, looking up at the sound of Jaebum's dark chuckle. 'Full of surprises, Jinyoungie.' He all but growled, leaning in to bite his lip softly before he flipped them over, Jinyoung landing on his back, legs falling open to bracket Jaebum's narrow hips.

He watched with anticipation as Jaebum reached for the lube, coating his fingers expertly. Jinyoung didn't expect him to slither down the sheets, jumping in shock as Jaebum licked a stripe up the underside of his cock suddenly and making a truly strange sound leave his lips. Glancing between his legs, he could have came just at the way Jaebum was looking at him. His legs trembled at the feel of a wet, cold digit slipping slowly inside him, and he breathed slowly, willing himself to relax. 

'Done this before?' 

'Hm?' At some point his eyes had fluttered shut again, and he opened them to see Jaebum looking at him with rapt attention.

'Fingered yourself, have you done it before?'

Jaebum slipped in a second finger while he was distracted, and Jinyoung gasped at the pleasurable burn. 'Yeah.' He breathed, seeing Jaebum's eyes change.

'Ever thought about me while you're doing it?' He winked, pressing a soft kiss to Jinyoung's thigh as he scissored his fingers, crooking them this way and that and making Jinyoung's breath hitch whenever he brushed over a sensitive spot.

'Hm, wouldn't you like to know.' Jinyoung smiled teasingly, but the expression was quickly wiped from his face in place off a wide-mouthed moan, eyebrows knitting together as Jaebum began kneading his fingers against his prostate slowly.

'I could barely go one night without thinking about you.' Jaebum's voice was deep and throaty, pupils blown, and just the thought of Jaebum stroking his cock to the thought of him made him contract around the older man's probing fingers, hips shifting down to meet his thrusts as he moaned softly. 'You sound so much more beautiful than I imagined, Jinyoungie.' Jinyoung barely noticed the third finger, eyes tightly shut as he turned his face into the pillow, hot breaths dampening the cloth. 'So sexy.'

His back arched at the feel of Jaebum's hot mouth enveloping his balls, sucking softly, and he pushed him away urgently, head spinning. 'Don't want to come until you're inside me.' He breathed desperately, knees trembling. Jaebum shifted back up the sheets, kissing him deeply as he rearranged Jinyoung's limbs. When he felt Jaebum's cock pressing against his stretched hole, he clenched reflexively in anticipation. Jaebum rolled on a condom slowly, and Jinyoung couldn't help wondering if he'd ever feel him without one.

'Relax.' Jaebum sank in slowly, and Jinyoung's mouth went slack in a drawn out moan at the stretch of it, the delicious ache. It was too slow, just on the edge of not enough, and he pressed his heels into Jaebum's lower back, pushing him deeper. Jaebum chuckled throatily, obviously struggling to hold himself back. 'Fuck, you're eager. Doesn't it hurt?'

Jinyoung shook his head, lip caught between his teeth. He couldn't open his eyes, eyebrows knitted as he lost in the sensation of Jaebum's hot length filling him so completely. He rocked his hips up to urge Jaebum into moving, and the older man groaned deeply, the sound going straight to Jinyoung's cock. When Jaebum finally relented, hips snapping as he fucked into him, he couldn't restrain his moans, the drag of his cock driving him crazy. Jaebum knew what he was doing, and Jinyoung arched almost painfully, eyes going wide as he gasped up at Jaebum, the older man grinding against his prostate slowly, precum dripping from Jinyoung's cock.

Volume control was out of the window by then, and Jinyoung couldn't stop himself from nearly shrieking when Jaebum pulled out suddenly, cock springing against his abdomen and Jinyoung's hole clenching desperately at the loss. He was a mess, looking blearily up at the older boy in confusion, hands reaching out blindly. Jaebum looked just as lost as him, barely clinging to his senses. His hair was sick with sweat, clinging to his forehead as his chest heaved with heavy breaths and his cock strained, red and full.

Jaebum rolled him onto his side suddenly, and Jinyoung was putty in his hands, barely registering hands on his thighs as the older man rearranged his limbs before scooting up close behind him as he kissed his neck, sucking bruises into the pale skin. He moaned wantonly as Jaebum pressed into him again, holding his leg up and sliding in to the hilt. Jaebum was whispering nonsense into his ear, the sound of his husky voice only bringing Jinyoung closer to his climax. Jaebum was deeper now in this position, fucking into him ruthlessly and hitting his sweet spot over and over again.

'Fuck, love the sound of you voice.' Jaebum groaned, biting hard at the juncture of Jinyoung's neck, and the younger man felt no warning before he was coming hard, nerves alight as his head rolled back against Jaebum's shoulder, mouth wide in a long, throaty moan. He must have blacked out for a moment, opening his eyes blearily to the sound of Jaebum's deep voice cracking, nonsense still pouring from his lips and his pace not slowing. Jinyoung was oversensitive, breath hitching with every thrust, but he didn't want Jaebum to stop, wishing he could feel him come inside him. Leaning back against him, arm reaching back to curl his fingers in Jaebum's wet hair, he watched him; eyes squeezed shut, brows knit and teeth clenched.

'Fuck me, Jaebum, feels so good, want to see you come.' Jaebum went rigid, hips stuttering as he fucked hard and deep, groaning with every thrust and making Jinyoung tremble. Jaebum rolled his hips as he came down from his high, sucking a bruise into Jinyoung's neck before he pulled out. He turned him gently, latching onto his lips and kissing him thoroughly. Jinyoung felt bone tired and satisfied, wondering why it took so long to experience something so good. He couldn't help but revel in the fact he'd been lucky enough to meet Jaebum, whatever the circumstances may have been.

Jaebum pulled him into his arms, tugging the duvet up and over their naked bodies. Moaning contentedly against his warm chest, Jinyoung felt sleep taking him. Jaebum's voice rumbled against his ear, sleep-thick and rich. 'Been so long since I slept after sex.'

'You better be here when I wake up.'

'Be careful, I might never leave.'

Jinyoung couldn't think of anything he'd want more, but despite Jaebum's words he held him tightly nonetheless, sinking into a deep sleep with the scent of Jaebum all around him, wrapped in his warm embrace.

He awoke with Jaebum's arm slung over him, the older man snoring softly against his neck. He played with the tattoos on Jaebum's forearm, tracing the inky shapes with interest. He wondered when he got them, if they meant anything, if they hurt. Moving his legs slightly, he found them entangled with Jaebum's, and noticed the burn in his lower back; it was sore, but he savoured the feel of it when paired with the memory of Jaebum moving inside of him, consuming him entirely.

Suddenly he was hit with a wave of embarrassment, recalling how loud he'd been, and checking his phone suspiciously his fears were confirmed. His lock screen glowed green with messages from Mark, Jackson and BamBam, and he tossed his phone away, groaning softly with the knowledge that they'd never let him live it down. There was still some small comfort to take in the fact that he'd once walked in on Mark and Jackson in some weird bondage scene, and definitely caught BamBam in drag more than once. This was nothing.

Jaebum stirred, letting out a deep breath against Jinyoung's skin and sending a shiver up his spine. Shifting, he nuzzled against him, and Jinyoung turned to him, smiling softly at his sleepy face.

'You stayed.'

'Hm, I was curious to know what your morning breath is like. It's terrible, by the way.' Jaebum smiled, voice cracked with sleep, and Jinyoung frowned at the comment. He kissed him out of spite, just a peck, but Jaebum pulled him close and deepened it, slow and sweet. Jinyoung wanted to burn the image of Jaebum groggy from sleep into his mind forever, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of his bedhead and slightly swollen cheeks. His eyes were crescents, barely open and drooping every few seconds.

Jinyoung leaned on his elbow, running his fingers down Jaebum's broad chest. Jaebum was looking at him with interest before he finally spoke.

'I can hear you thinking.'

'I was just wondering something.'

'Enlighten me.'

Jinyoung hesitated, but considered the fact that Jaebum tended to take every question in his stride, and decided it was best to just be frank. 'You said your clientele was usually on the mature side... did you bottom a lot?'

Jaebum groaned, stretching out lazily. 'It really depends; a lot of the guys come to me because they need to be taken care of, need the pressure taken off them for a while so I'd say the majority would want me to top. I've bottomed plenty of times but it's always hit and miss, especially if they're not a regular... some of them have no idea what they're doing and it's just a bad time for me. They get lost in whatever they're feeling and forget I'm a human being who needs to walk afterwards.' Jaebum smirked, eyes glinting. 'Why, you wanna try topping me?'

Jinyoung didn't know where to look, feeling as if he was on the spot. It actually hadn't crossed his mind, but now that it was on the table he found himself itching with curiosity; however, he didn't want to be rubbish at it and disappoint Jaebum. It seemed as though Jaebum caught his thoughts, wrapping an arm around his waist comfortingly.

'C'mon, let's see what you've got. I'll talk you through it - I'm a professional.' He winked, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. Jaebum patted around beneath the duvet, searching for something before he returned with the lube. He held the bottle out, but Jinyoung was frozen with nerves, causing Jaebum to snatch his hand with a kind smile, coating his fingers himself. Jinyoung watched him hitch a leg up, heart racing as the older boy guided him to his entrance, and Jinyoung tentatively pressed inside him, watching Jaebum's expression intently. Jaebum didn't hesitate to fuck himself on Jinyoung's fingers, eyes fluttering shut and eyebrows twitching with every thrust.

It was mesmerising, and Jinyoung found himself moving to hover over Jaebum, spreading his legs gently and pressing his fingers deeper in earnest, eager to coax whatever sounds he could from the older man. Jaebum looked up at him, seeming almost shocked at Jinyoung's interest before a slow smile spread over his lips, gasps escaping his lips every few seconds. 

It wasn't long before Jinyoung felt his cock hanging hard between his legs, and Jaebum urged him to remove his fingers, rolling on a condom and reaching to slicken the younger man's length with a cheeky grin. Jinyoung lined himself up with Jaebum's entrance, the older man watching him with rapt attention, almost curiously. He was shaking with nerves and arousal, and sank in slowly so as not to hurt Jaebum. Of course, Jaebum only smirked, hooking a leg over Jinyoung's hip and urging him inside to the hilt. Jinyoung saw stars, the heat consuming him, and he could feel Jaebum rolling his hips against him, fucking himself on his cock.

When he found his senses once again, he began to fuck back in earnest, teeth grit together as he tried to keep breathing and strike a rhythm. He could see how Jaebum made his money, looking as if he was still in total control even on his back. His eyes were full of teasing mirth as he bit his lip slowly, a filthy grin stuck in place. Shifting Jaebum's hips slightly, he thrust roughly, seeing the cocky expression slip into unmasked pleasure, eyelids fluttering as he moaned loudly, deeply.

Jinyoung felt his climax approach alarmingly fast, shouting suddenly and shaking apart before Jaebum's eyes. The older man ran his hands soothingly down Jinyoung's arms pulling him to his chest and kissing his neck as he trembled. 'You were good, Jinyoungie,' He whispered soothingly into his ear, 'Wouldn't think it was your first time.'

Jinyoung caught his breath, not ignorant to the fact that Jaebum was still achingly hard beneath him. He kneeled on wobbly leg without a word, tearing open a condom with his teeth and rolling it slowly over Jaebum's length. The older man's eyes were wide, astonished at Jinyoung's boldness, and they quickly snapped shut when Jinyoung wrapped his mouth around him, sucking in earnest. It was messy and full of inexperience, but Jaebum seemed to be enjoying it, fingers buried in Jinyoung's hair as he groaned deeply. He was full and thick in Jinyoung's mouth, and he wished he could taste him, feel his skin.

When Jinyoung looked up to check Jaebum's expression, he saw the older man watching him with dark eyes, mouth ajar. He felt powerful, seeing Jaebum so completely at his mercy, and he felt him tense when he ran his thumb teasingly over his wet hole. His hips jumped at the contact, cock pulsing in Jinyoung's mouth as he came with a rough, broken moan. 

Jinyoung didn't pull away until Jaebum whined, oversensitive, and pushed at Jinyoung's shoulder weakly. Jaebum gave him a fucked out smile when Jinyoung shuffled up beside him, kissing him lazily on the lips. 'I think it's time I took you out on a real date.' He stated breathlessly, and Jinyoung felt his heart flutter. Jinyoung's jaw ached, and he pulled his condom off with a crinkled nose, tying it and throwing it into his waste basket. Jaebum slowly rolled out of bed, limping slightly as he walked to pick up Jinyoung's robe, and Jinyoung drank in the sight of him in the daylight, unable to believe he held the attention of such a God.

Jaebum strolled lazily to the door, stopping and turning when he reached it to drag his eyes over Jinyoung's naked body where the younger man lay sprawled out lazily.

'But before that date, how about you join me in the shower and I show you what eating out is. I've been told I'm good with my tongue.

Jinyoung would have to truly apologise to his best friend, because Mark had given him the greatest birthday gift he could have wished for.


	4. A lil fanart for yall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have nowhere to post this so I'll pop it here as a treat :) thank you all sooooooooo much for the kudos - i can't believe how well-liked this fic was!

 

i do commissions! contact me > chazgilbert1995@gmail.com or find out about them [here](http://chazstity.tumblr.com/tagged/commissions)


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bonus chapter because you guys were so unbelievably kind and supportive of this fic and there was no way i could leave the calls for a sequel unanswered! (and i just really miss this fic after writing something as heavy as baggage haha!) every time i read a comment i sound like a kettle boiling on the stove, thank you so much! I'll be writing another GOT7 fic soon in the same housemate-college AU style as this but with way more drama and crack and fluff so anticipate it!

It wasn't long before Jackson and Jaebum realised there was no point in renting their house any longer, the two of them having more clothes at the other guys' house than their own, and eventually they packed whatever was left and moved in. It was awkward at first, because Jaebum was so used to being alone, of Jackson giving him space to sulk, that suddenly being thrown to a pack of lions was a seismic shift that left him displaced and reeling.

  
Jinyoung was someone he didn't think he could grow tired of. He'd imaged the magic would wane, that it would become routine, but it was the opposite. Coming home from a ten hour shift and knowing he'd find him sprawled casually on the bed wearing nothing but his reading glasses and a smile as he studied was enough to make him outrun the bus home every day. Waking beside him was like breathing a lungful of crisp spring air, and falling asleep in his arms always pulled him down into richer dreams than he'd had when he'd slept alone.

When he'd first started staying at Jinyoung's, before he'd moved in, he'd always snuck around the house like a ghost, never speaking to any of the other housemates unless it as a polite grunt of acknowledgement in passing. Actually experiencing them was a shock to his system, the two youngest bullying him at every turn, not bothering with honorifics. Initially he'd been wary and unsure of how to react incase it affected his relationship with Jinyoung, but he quickly gave up on being timid when it came to dolling out the harshness. Even though he beat their asses every time, they still taunted him ruthlessly.

He'd turned in Jinyoung's arms one night, unable to sleep for one reaason or another, and mumbled his worries into the pillow, of how he felt he didn't fit in, but Jinyoung just pulled him close and sighed. His voice was quiet and sleepy when he told him how the boys called Jinyoung mom, and that they'd taken to calling Jaebum the awkward dad. He hadn't shifted from where his face was buried in the pillow, embarrassed that the smile the revelation brought him wouldn't leave his lips.

After that he let go of the tension he'd been holding onto, allowing himself to laugh at their teasing, to brawl with them like brothers. Even with his short temper, with a fresh pair of eyes it was easy to see they just wanted to be closer to him, though he still kept up his grumpy act to save face. It was fitting that they called Jinyoung mom, with the way he doted on them and scolded them, made sure they were fed and keeping up with their studies as if they weren't grown men. Jaebum was truly the awkward dad, stepping in whenever they got too cheeky and watching Jinyoung suffer the rest of the time.

He found a friend in Yugyeom soon enough after finding out he liked to dance, and that he was good at it, the two of them batting whenever they were in the kitchen at the same time. Of course a lot of food was forgotten in the process, leading to microwave explosions and the kitchen fire they decided to keep between themselves. Yugyeom tested him at every opportunity, never put off by Jaebum's attempts at intimidation, but what really grinded his gears was just how giant the kid was, and how smug he was about it. Bambam was just odd, always doing the most. He'd once mentioned that he dabbed every time he woke up, and Jaebum didn't doubt it for a second. It took him a month to actually meet Youngjae, a bright ball of sunshine who smiled too much to be real, because he was always in his bedroom playing video games and making music. He decided Youngjae was his favourite, simply because he was the only one who called him hyung.

Sometimes he forgot Mark even lived there, being so quiet, though it seemed he had a lot to say when it was only him and Jinyoung, sometimes walking in on the two of them in deep, secretive conversation. It was as if he was always watching, observing, collecting data. Half the time Jaebum would eat his breakfast, look away, and his empty plate was already tidied away by the invisible housemate. On Jaebum's end, he still felt awkward about how they first met doing business over Jinyoung's viginity, nto to mention he was Jinyoung's best friend. He was pretty sure Mark knew every small thing Jaebum did that was weird or wrong, every odd birthmark on his body and every strange sound he made during sex, because 'best friend' really meant 'person your boyfriend tells your secrets to'.

The last of his reservations went to waste the first time they drank together, and he doubted he'd ever live down the events of that night. The wall that had been between them all, even if the wall was only in Jaebum's head, crumbled to dust. Bambam had suggested they play a game of 'never have I ever', and the boys kept suggesting odd sexual acts just to get Jaebum drunk - though Jackson and Mark were tipsy pretty soon too. At one point he'd ended up on the roof, slipping off and breaking his ankle. Too drunk to notice he was injured, he proceeded to dance battle Yugyeom in the garden.

The next thing he knew he was in hospital, tripping on morphine while Jackson recorded his doped up mumbles about Jiynoung's perfect backside and how hot it would be if Jinyoung and Mark made out. He had to take two weeks off work, and within a day his cast was covered with obscene scrawlings he couldnt quite bend enough to see, and would probably murder the offenders if he could. For the first time in a long while he felt part of something, like he belonged, and the fog that had clouded his mind for so long was clearing with every lilting piano piece from Youngjae's room deep in the night, the ridiculous giggles coming from Mark's room, every kitchen catastrophe Bambam and Yugyeom would try and hide, and every quirk of Jinyoung's lips.

It was the second month of living with Jinyoung that he found out about the birthday tradition. It was Yugyeom's twentieth, and the look in Jinyoung's eyes when Mark reminded him was frightening, enough that Jaebum seriously feared for the boys life. In the end the evil side of him was easily coerced into joining in on Yugyeom's torture, and it turned out he and Jinyoung made an amazing pair of actors. They'd planned on making a show of breaking up just as Yugyeom got home from University, and the poor thing went red as a beet from holding in his tears, the rest of the guys watching on as if they had no idea it was fake.

Something went wrong along the way, though, the act becoming just too close to real. Jinyoung was shouting in his hometown dialect, which he only did when he was furious, a rarity, and for a moment something changed in his eyes, his words too harsh. It went from empty words to accusations of how Jaebum wasn't made for a relationship, how he knew he missed fucking around, how he didn't know how to love just one person. He'd punched the wall in his heartache, and Jackson had grabbed him, wrestled him around in an attempt to calm him down. Jaebum didn't recall whether Jackson was still acting at that point, but he recalled punching him square in the face, Jackson punching him back, the two of them falling through the coffee table, everyone screaming for them to stop as Yugyeom bawled his eyes out.

It took all five of the boys to pull them off each other, bloody nosed and knuckled, and Jinyoung was simply staring in shock, looking at him as if he was a stranger. He left the room abruptly, shrugging off the hands still gripping him without looking back, without consoling Youngjae or apologising to Jackson. His hands shook as he lit a cigarette, taking a long drag as he regarded his bloody knuckles. They ached, and his tears caught him by surprise, leaving dark spots on his jeans as he sat on the wall. Jaebum hadn't had his heart broken in a long time, and he was five cigarettes in, the sun already descending behind the houses, before the door creaked open, Jinyoung stepping onto the concrete with a solemn, expectant expression.

'Why did you go that far?' He sounded like he'd been crying too, though he couldn't bear to look at him. He shook his head slowly, frowning at his feet as his cigarette burnt out.

'You really feel that way? Those are really the questions on your mind?'

Jinyoung came to sit beside him, crossing his legs and looking up at the summer moon as the sky turned a pale purple. 'I didn't mean to say it, it just came out in the moment.'

'But that's how you feel?'

'Jaebum, I...'

'I thought you were happy. I'm happy.' He hated the way his voice broke, how awkward conversations always happened in this shitty little garden.

Jinyoung sighed shakily. 'I am happy, it just feels too good to be real.'

  
'I don't miss it, you know.' Jaebum met Jinyoung's eyes, watching him sigh, and he could see he didn't believe him. What had happened to make him so distrustful? 'I changed my whole life for you, give me some credit.'

Jinyoung looked down at his hands, frowning. 'I'm not worth the hassle.'

'My sister is the only person I've ever said I love you to. I fucked around in high school, I fucked around in college, and I fucked every day when I was an escort. None of it mattered. None of it made me feel the way you make me feel. The best moment of my day is coming back from work and seeing you there, hunched over your desk, fast asleep with your glasses askew, and no matter how quietly I try to be you always wake up straight away and give me that sleepy smile that makes my chest go all funny.'

It felt as if something had gone missing in his chest, seeing Jinyoung playing with his hands anxiously, biting his lip as his eyes filled with tears. It hurt that whatever was broken wasn't in Jaebum's power to fix, but he'd try nonetheless. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching the stars as the sky darkened further. 'Tell me what you're scared of, or I'll be here all night trying to guess.'

Jinyoung made a sound that might have been a laugh but came out as more of a whimper, sniffing and wiping at his cheeks. 'I still wake up and think you won't be there. How can you bear it? Your life was so full and fast before me, I don't understand how you'd settle for someone as plain as me. You give me everything and I have nothing to offer in return.'

Jaebum took a moment to process Jinyoung's words, exhausted by how blind he was, frustrated by his groundless self-hatred. 'Every single person in this house would follow you to the end of the Earth without asking for a single thing in return, because they don't need to ask. You're too blind to see that you're already giving as much as you need to.'

'They're different-'

'-How? They all love you, how is that any different from me? Do you think I'd turn my life upside down just for a fuck? The night we met I could've stayed in that bar and talked to you all night, just like that, because you made me laugh, because I could relate to you, and because I like the way you talk and the thing you do with your mouth when you want to laugh. You're far from plain, Jinyoung, and just as a side-note, sex with you is the best I've ever had, because it's you, and I love you.' Jaebum held his breath, forcing himself to look at Jinyoung and feeling his heart pound when Jinyoung looked back, brown eyes wide and wet.

'I'm stupid, aren't I?'

Jaebum chuckled, pressing his palm to Jinyoung's cheek and wiping at a tear. 'The smartest idiot I know.'

Jinyoung leaned in and kissed him hard, and Jaebum wondered if it was possible to grow tired of those lips against his own, the way Jinyoung would curl his fingers into Jaebum's shoulder blades, the small moans he'd let out whenever their lips parted for a moment. When Jaebum pried himself away from the pull of Jinyoung's lips, still leaning close enough to feel his breaths, he watched Jinyoung's eyes drift from his own and go wide. He stared at something behind Jaebum for a second before he planted his face in Jaebum's shoulder in embarrassment, and looking back, Jaebum could only sigh. The idiots were pressed to the window with giddy smiles, Bambam and Youngjae pounding on the glass excitedly to tease him as they laughed, Yugyeom wiping at his runny nose and tearing up again while Mark watched him with a raised eyebrow and Jackson just gave him a thumbs up, bloody knuckled and swollen-faced.

'I really hate them sometimes.' Jaebum muttered, flipping them off while Jinyoung chuckled into his shirt, voice muffled in the fabric.

'I think we need to apologise to Yugyeom, and Jackson.'

'Jackson and I have roughed each other up more over less, but I guess Yugyeom could do with a hug.' Jaebum stood, and Jinyoung followed with a red face, slipping his arm around his waist as the two of them endured the walk of shame back to the house, the raucous cheer of their housemates welcoming them inside. Yugyeom looked so pitiful he couldn't help but wrap him in a rough embrace, Jinyoung patting his backside apologetically as everyone taunted him. Bambam made a comment about mom and dad kissing and making up, and Mark set about clearing away the shattered coffee table without a word.

Yugyeom seemed to have forgotten it was his birthday amidst the chaos, and ended up sobbing his heart out once again when they brought in his cake. Jaebum kept blowing his candles out before he could, getting a sharp slap on the back from Jinyoung for teasing him, but he eventually managed to blow them out, obviously making wishes for each candle, one by one, and Jaebum mussed up his hair lovingly. The disappointment in Yugyeom's eyes when he said he couldn't afford to buy him a birthday gift almost broke his heart, and it took a matter of seconds for his teasing to falter, ending up dragging the boy out to the garden and revealing the shed.

He'd fixed it up while his ankle was broken, with the help of Jackson and Youngjae, putting in some floor length mirrors along one wall and laminating the floor so he could practice in there. He'd almost thought the boy would faint, and the bear hug the gentle giant gave in return nearly killed him. He stood there sulkily, being squeezed to death, but the second he caught Jinyoung's warm gaze his facade faltered and he couldn't help but smile. He ecaped Yugyeom's clutches and pulled him in for a headlock and a noogie anyway, because shit was getting too sentimental for his comfort.

That night he and Jinyoung lay on the sofa while the others sat around Mark's laptop on the floor of the living room with the sound on mute, passing around a joint whilst improvising the lines the actors were saying on screen. They'd made up an intricate, twisted plot by the thirty minute mark, Youngjae turning out to be quite the voice actor, and he was engrossed. He hadn't noticed Jinyoung wiggling around behind him, but soon he felt Jinyoung's lips smoothing over the back of his neck, his hands sneaking under his shirt and over his hips, and he turned slightly, raising an eyebrow. All it took was Jinyoung's half-lidded eyes and his teeth dragging against his bottom lip seductively to get him out of his seat and up the stairs, ignoring the suggestive wolf whistle from Jackson.

He stumbled into Jinyoung's room and watched as Jinyoung walked in slowly, closing the door behind himself before sauntering towards him. Jaebum leaned in for a kiss, but Jinyoung pushed his chest hard, making him fall back onto the bed with a bounce. He could only stare up in bewilderment as Jinyoung climbed onto his lap, claiming his lips hungrily. Jaebum lazily slipped his hands beneath Jinyoung's shirt, stroking his back before sliding them down beneath the waistband of his jeans and palming his backside - a part of Jinyoung he doubted he'd ever grow tired of.

Jinyoung pulled away, tugging his shirt off and getting it stuck around his neck, fighting his way out of it in confusion as Jaebum laughed hysterically. He eventually freed himself a good thirty seconds later, red faced, and threw the offensive garment out of sight roughly, rolling his hips and cutting Jaebum's chuckles off abruptly with a moan. He smirked deviously, and Jaebum tugged his own shirt off in a rush, watching Jinyoung's eyes rake over his bare chest as if he'd never seen him shirtless before, hands trailing down the flat planes until he reached his crotch, palming him over his jeans and drawing a gutteral moan from his throat.

It hadn't taken Jinyoung long to get used to intimacy, and it was startling just how easily he could turn Jaebum into a wanton mess. Jaebum sat up as best as he could from his awkward position, clutching Jinyoung's backside for leverage as he trailed his tongue over a nipple, a sharp hiss leaving Jinyoung's lips as he threaded his fingers through Jaebum's auburn locks. He tugged hard and Jaebum grimaced, his head being pulled back roughly before Jinyoung kissed him hard and filthy, tongues twisting wetly as he dry humped Jaebum to the edge of his composure.

He twisted, pulling Jinyoung down onto the bed and leaning over him, not breaking their kiss as he deftly unbuttoned his jeans and palmed him through his boxers, making him moan against his mouth. His thighs shook as he writhed beneath Jaebum's touch, hands roaming wildly over Jaebum's exposed skin before he tugged at his waistband insistently and Jaebum broke away to stand. He gazed at Jinyoung laying there, flushed and wild, eyes heavy from his high, and slowly stepped out of his jeans, stroking himself over his boxers while Jinyoung watched in a daze. He savoured the image for a moment before tugging Jinyoung's jeans off roughly, always feeling a pang of fondness whenever his embarrassing assortment of underwear was revealed - Jaebum preferred his pastel blue moomin boxers, but the solar system ones were cute too, and quite fitting as he genuinely felt he was diving into another galaxy whenever he pulled them off - before stripping him completely.

Jinyoung spread his legs wide without an ounce of shame, and Jaebum could have eaten him whole, grabbing at his thighs and pulling his legs up as he settled between them, capturing his lips once more. The kiss slowed, Jinyoung's lips stilling against Jaebum's, and he leaned away enough to see his face.

'What are you thinking about?' He breathed, and Jinyoung looked like he'd pieced a jigsaw together, a look of discovery in his eyes.

'I've never said I love you.'

'I know you love me.'

'Just like that? How can you be so sure?'

Jaebum leant on his elbow, stroking Jinyoung''s bangs away from his eyes. 'You're different from me. I close off, push people away, where you just have to look at me and I know exactly how you feel, what you're thinking.'

'What am I thinking right now?' Jinyoung smirked, and Jaebum felt his dick harden a little more.

'That I'm the sexiest, most dashing man you've ever seen.' Jaebum winked, standing and patting the duvet until he found the lube, a smile tugging at his lips at the sound of Jinyoung's chuckle.

'Close, but not quite.'

Jaebum stood between Jinyoung's legs once again, looking him up and down slowly and feeling a surge of pride when Jinyoung's cock filled out beneath his gaze, 'Well, that and this...' Jaebum tugged Jinyoung's hips forwards, shifting him to the edge of the bed before he got to his knees and pushed the backs of his thighs up, feeling Jinyoung tremble slightly with arousal.

'You really are a mind reader.' Jinyoung sighed, keeping his thighs pulled up while Jaebum lubed up his fingers. He watched Jaebum as well as he could from his position, eyes rolling back when his tongue trailed over his balls and down to his perineum, before letting his head fall back heavily at the sensation of him tracing his rim. A shaky breath left his lips when Jaebum pressed his tongue inside, fucking him slowly, torturously as he smoothed his clean hand up and down his inner thigh soothingly.

He could feel Jinyoung clenching around him when he pressed his index finger inside slowly as he tongue-fucked him, revelling in the sound of his breathless moans. Jinyoung always loosened up quickly, and it gave Jaebum confidence to know he was so comfortable with him, aroused enough by him to let go effortlessly. He drove his fingers in hard, mouthing at his balls as Jinyoung pushed back reflexively, his throat exposed as he panted open-mouthed, adams apple bobbing deliciously.

Jaebum clicked open the lube with his free hand, multitasking as he slicked himself up, sighing at the cool wetness on his aching length. He pulled his fingers out slowly, entranced by the way Jinyoung would clench around them as if to keep them there, and pressed a kiss to his thigh before standing, pulling off his boxers hastily. Jinyoung raised himself on his elbows, watching Jaebum with a sultry gaze as he bit his lip, and Jaebum stroked himself a few times, savouring the feeling for a moment before he pushed Jinyoung's knees apart, opening him up and pressing inside with a gasp.

Jinyoung arched at the sensation, eyes closed as he calmed himself, and Jaebum gripped the soft flesh of his thighs, pulling him off the bed slightly for a better angle and drawing a sudden moan from Jinyoung's lips. He worked his way inside slowly, always patient enough to allow Jinyoung time to adjust, but soon enough he felt Jinyoung's heels pressing into his back, urging him to move, though his eyes were still closed, and he rocked into him slowly, watching his knuckles turn white as he balled his fists in the sheets.

Jinyoung's arms slipped around his shoulders as he leaned down, collecting him in his arms and lifting him from the bed, stumbling slightly as they kissed, reeling from the sensation of his cock driving deeper inside at the change in position. He walked him backwards until he had Jinyoung trapped against the wall, and he fucked into him hard, breaking the kiss to watch him staring, wide eyed and open mouthed as if in awe. The sound was obscene, flesh against flesh, Jinyoung's head thumping against the wall with every thrust, and Jinyoung always moaned like a cheap pornstar.

Though Jaebum lived for the sound, Jinyoung was always overcome with humiliation once his afterglow had faded and the realisation that the whole house had heard them had sunk in, his phone pinging with congratulatory texts for hours afterwards. When he was sober he'd try and cover his mouth or bury his face in the sheets, though Jaebum would always figure out some way to get him screaming again. When he was high he had no volume control, lost in the moment as he cried out and Jaebum groaned, damp with sweat from keeping Jinyoung up against the wall.

He walked them back to the bed, Jinyoung dazed as he fell back onto the matress, but before Jaebum could push back inside he was being tugged down roughly, Jinyoung hopping onto his lap and pinning his chest to the mattress firmly. He reached back and slipped Jaebum's cock back inside, sinking down with an obscene moan, slowly rolling his hips in the way that drove Jaebum crazy.

'How - fuck - how could I get tired of this?' Jaebum gasped, laughing breathlessly as Jinyoung's blunt nails scraped at his chest just enough to tingle. Jinyoung was flushed from his chest upwards, the light from his lamp making him glow like some kind of worshippable deity, and Jaebum could only watch in a daze as he rode him hard. Sex with Jinyoung changed his view on the act completely. It had become so routine for him, so cardboard that he was shocked by Jinyoung every time. Even before he was an escort, he'd never slept with anyone worth calling twice. There was a spark inside him that Jinyoung could turn to a blaze, and his whole body burned for more of him, for every inch of him.

He planted his feet on the floor, pushing up into Jinyoung as he pushed down, watching his head fall back in ecstasy before he tightened, coming over both of their chests, untouched and deafening. Jaebum grit his teeth at the sensation of him quivering around his cock, at the sight of him riding out his orgasm and watching him with eyes that held too much emotion to be real. He made a sharp noise in the back of his throat, grasping at Jinyoung blindly as his climax tore through him.

The world span and Jinyoung's arms were around him, his lips trailing up his chest to his jaw before pulling at his lower lip lazily. Jaebum just lay there catching his breath until Jinyoung shifted to lay against his chest, taking his hand and gently touching his wounded knuckles. 'I don't think Yugyeom will forget this birthday any time soon.'

'I made a real ass of myself.'

'Me too. We've all looked like idiots at some point, it makes you part of the family.'

Jaebum raised an eyebrow and smiled down at Jinyoung lazily, bone tired and too exhausted and fucked out to move. 'You better not start calling me daddy.'

 

-

 

When it came around to Bambam's birthday, they snuck into his bedroom while Yugyeom was asleep and found his kink closet, handcuffing Yugyeom to the bed and stripping him to his underpants. When the Thai boy came home, he found everyone but Yugyeom sat around watching one of his home porno's they'd dug out from the depths of his closet, Jackson and Jaebum wearing his bizarre fetish outfits as they sat on the sofa passing popcorn casually. Youngjae gave it a five star rating. They all completely forgot about Yugyeom as Bambam remained downstairs to give a thorough narrative to his pornographic debut, finding the younger boy dehydrated and tearful when they finally freed him from his bonds.

Youngjae's parents came to visit on his birthday, and they spent the whole day trying to embarrass him. However, his parents were unflappable, smiling politely and showing them where Youngjae got his laugh from. They gave up and decided to just give him a real gift because his soul was so pure and he deserved it, having never actively partaken in the birthday ritual and therefore never building any resentment from anybody. He managed to keep hold of the puppy for all of five minutes before Mark forced him to share.

For Mark's birthday they just pretended they couldn't hear a word he was saying, which was Jaebum's idea, because it pissed him off just how quiet he was, but the ignorance was broken when he got frustrated and slapped Jaebum around the back of the head, spurring a wrestling match that Mark surprisingly won, further proving the point that they should never fuck with him. Jinyoung spiked his birthday cake with a whole baggy of weed to ease the tension and the lot of them couldn't leave the house for three days.

They arranged a trip to a karaoke bar for Jackson's birthday, though he didn't notice they'd disconnected his mic, somehow still managing to be louder than the rest of them. However, it was Bambam who stole the show, sounding like a dying animal and spurring the manager to have a word with them because the other customers could hear him through the soundproof booth.

Jaebum took Jinyoung out for dinner on his birthday, candlelit and expensive, and it took barely half an hour for the housemates to come crashing in like a storm, causing such a commotion they ended up being thrown out before Jaebum could even pay. Yugyeom had managed to take half the food with him as well as two bottles of wine while nobody was paying attention, so they just sat in a park in the freezing cold and set a bonfire, stuffing their faces and getting completely drunk. By the time the last bottle of wine was finished, the tone had shifted to something solemn, talking of things such as graduating and moving out. He could see Jinyoung fighting his tears in the glow of the dying fire, and he pulled him close as he contemplated his own future. There was still his birthday to come, there was still time to figure things out.

He'd assumed nobody would be stupid enough to prank him, but of course he was wrong, and they were indeed stupid. He awoke to the sound of balloons being popped in his face and hysterical laughter, sitting up in a blur of annoyance and lashing out at whoever was in front of him, but they'd all ran out of the room by the time his eyes had woken up. He groaned, moving to the edge of the bed and slipping his feet into his slippers, being met with a cold, slimy subtsance under his feet. He kicked the offensive substance away, realising they'd squirted whipped cream into his slippers, and he cursed, reaching for his phone to check the time and finding they'd removed his battery.

He threw it to the side in exasperation, walking to the door and opening it to the sound of a foghorn in his face, and he jumped to grab Bambam but he was too fast for Jaebum's groggy reflexes, darting down the stairs like his life depended on it, because it did. He made to run after him but stopped in his tracks as something cracked on his head, followed by something wet and cold dripping down his neck. When he looked up, he saw Mark and Jackson cackling from the top of their stairs, proceeding to pummel him with eggs. He ducked beneath the assault, running down the stairs and entering the living room in misery.

Youngjae was sat on the sofa and cheerfully wished him a happy birthday, only noticing the egg running down his face and his ill temper after he got cursed out. As he walked into the kitchen, his heart skipped a beat as the speakers blared 'Bba Sae', and Yugyeom came running in through the back door on cue, dancing wildly and blocking his path. He was jostled from behind as the rest of the guys burst into the kitchen, Jackson and Mark grabbing his arms and forcing him to dance as he succumbed to his torture. 

Jinyoung squeezed in past the commotion, leaning against the counter and smirking as he sipped his coffee. Jaebum sighed in defeat, shouting over the ruckus, 'You're right, it's not as fun when it's happening to you.'

His blood ran cold at Jinyoung's dark laugh, the knowing shake of his head. 'Oh, Jaebum. It's barely started yet.'

Eventually they released him and allowed him a shower, but when he returned downstairs he found them all crowded around the television, his heart sinking at the sight of his childhood home videos playing on the screen.

'Where did you get that?' He all but whimpered, and Jinyoung beamed at him from the sofa.

'I've been talking to your sister, she was more than happy to lend us these.' He waved a photoalbum with glee, and Jaebum groaned, collapsing beside him on the sofa as scenes of his aunts wedding day played on the screen. He couldn't have been more than six, playing with a small car on the carpet at the afterparty, completely engrossed while his mother chirped about how cute he looked with the girl sat beside him. His mother chattered on behindt he camera about their future marriage and how much of a charmer he was, even though he was ignoring the girl completely. The girl picked up on of his toys and he face planted her into the ground without a second thought, reclaiming it without a change in expression as she bawled her eyes out and his mother tried to figure out how to turn the camera off.

Everyone erupted in laughter and he closed his eyes in embarrassment, Jackson cackling the loudest. 'Ruthless since the womb, JB.'

Jinyoung was flicking through the photo album, pausing on one page in particular. 'The girl in the video is in here a lot, who was she?'

'My fiancé.'

'Shit, really?'

'Even as a kid I couldn't stand her.'

Jinyoung smiled softly, turning another page. 'You were a cute kid. You looked happy, kind of.' He pointed to a photo of him sat in the bath as a toddler, raising an eyebrow at the camera as if he'd heard it talking shit.

Jaebum hummed, shrugging, 'It's funny to look back on now, but it really was a shit time growing up.'

'It's entertaining to see though, for us. Reminds us that you were little once.'

'Are you calling me old?' He gasped, mock offended as Jinyoung made to defend himself, but he tickled him before any words could leave his lips, laughing as he cringe and curled in on himself, batting away Jaebum's hands as he gasped for breath. He relented after he'd tortured him thoroughly, a seedy smile plastered on his lips. 'So, when am I getting my birthday gift?'

He followed Jinyoung upstairs, closing the bedroom door behind himself, but when he turned he was met with a small feline face hissing at him..

'When we got Coco from the rescue shelter I saw this little thing and she reminded me of you, so I went back for her this morning.' The cat was grumpy looking, though it seemed perfectly happy in Jinyoung's arms as he tickled it behind its ears. Its gaze was fixed on Jaebum as if it wanted to start a fight, and the moment he reached out to stroke it the little bastard bit his finger, growling as it jumped out of Jinyoung's arms to curl up on the bed as if it owned the place.

'Nice to know that's how you view me.'

Jinyoung smirked, tugging him close by his belt and kising him slowly. 'She'll warm up to you, I just have to show her that I think you're friendly.'

'And how are you planning on doing that?' Jaebum winked, hands trailing downwards to squeeze Jinyoung's rear, to which he rolled his eyes.

'Don't get so excited, it's barely five in the evening. Me and the guys graduate next week, come and spend some time with them while you can. You still need to see your cake - I cooked it so you know it's gonna be amazing.'

'What did you spike it with this time?'

'Vodka.'

-

The cake was almost inedible. Almost. The seven of them lay on the floor of the living room, full and drunk and bereft. Yugyeom was moving back in with his parents, Bambam was going back to Thailand, Mark and Jackson were going to tour the states together and Youngjae had decided to do a masters in England.

Jinyoung had been squeezing Jaebum's hand painfully tight for the past half hour, and he knew the loss was crippling for him. People were secondary in Jaebum's life, he saw enough come and go, and Jackson was the only constant he'd had for a long time before he'd moved in with Jinyoung and the other idiots. His insides felt twisted, and a lump had settled in his throat, because somewhere along the line he'd fallen in love with all of them.

Jinyoung hadn't said a word about what he wanted to do, or whether he wanted Jaebum to come with him, and honestly the anxiety was eating at him. He'd been wondering for a while what would become of the two of them - Jinyoung had a future, there was no doubting he'd graduate with top marks, but Jaebum was long lost.

Bambam groaned, sitting up lazily and reaching for his cigarette tin, rolling a blunt before he picked up a heavy book and threw it in Jaebum's direction, missing his face by an inch as it thwumped on the carpet.

'Yah!'

'It's your birthday present, from us.'

Jaebum kicked him nonetheless, making him tip tobacco all over his lap and curse. He sat up, heaving the book into his lap and opening the heavy front cover. It was all pictures of them, some he remembered taking or being took, but some that were entirely candid. Jinyoung only glanced at the pages before his head was in his hands, sobs shaking him, and they all swarmed him like flies, suffocating him in a group hug and laughing, though not single eye in the room as dry.

'Wherever you go we'll end up coming back to bother you, you know that. It's not a goodbye.' Youngjae comforted him, patting his back hard, though his nostrils were flaring in his effort not to cry.

'Where are you going, anyway?' Mark asked, when everyone had given Jinyoung some space. He pulled him into his lap and rocked him side to side, and Jaebum could see it was tearing Mark apart, too. Jinyoung sniffed, voice thick with tears.

'I think we'll stay here, you know? So you all know where we are whenever you want to come back.'

Jaebum's heart skipped a beat, and his mouth was suddeny dry, the question leaving his lips as a gasp. 'We?'

Jinyoung shrugged, folding his arms as if it would keep him safe from any rejection Jaebum might put him through. 'Only if you want to.'

'Of course I want to.'

'Then it's settled!' Jackson grinned, pulling Jaebum into his broad chest and mussing his hair despite Jaebum's struggling. 'Mom and dad will guard the house while us kids fly the nest. When we're broke we can just come back here and not pay rent.'

Jinyoung suddenly awoke at those words, pointing a finger aggressively in Jackson's direction. 'You better fucking know you'll be paying rent.' As the words shot from his mouth he seemed shocked by his own outburst, covering his mouth and laughing as Mark squeezed him tightly. 'None of you are allowed back here until you're rich, especially you, Youngjae - I want you performing in concert halls for thousands. And Jackson, you better be a world star athlete before you crawl back in through that door. I expect flowers and gifts for all my hard work.'

'You really did work hard, Jinyoung.' Mark smiled, and Jinyoung slapped him on the arm as his lip quivered again, setting the tears off once more. Mark couldn't hold his in any longer, and the two of them curled up together on the floor, gripping eachother tightly as they cried with abandon.

Jackson's grip on Jaebum's shoulder was growing tighter by the second, and when he looked he saw he was beet red from holding in his tears. Jaebum pulled him in for a rough hug, palm slapping against his back roughly as the tears broke through. 'Don't get all soppy on me, man.'

'Sorry, I just... I've watched you go through so much shit, I'm glad you finally found a place you fit.'

Jaebum leaned away, squeezing his shoulder hard. 'Thanks, Jacks.'

Jackson beamed even though his eyes were red, chuckling. 'Stop acting cool, I know you're gonna miss me like crazy.'

Jaebum snickered, nodded, and the weight of the situation was suddenly too much to hold in. He pressed his face into his palms as he was overwhelmed, and felt Jackson's strong arms squeezing the breath from him in a matter of moments, Yugyeom and Bambam piling on top and crushing him into the carpet as Youngjae jumped on as well, followed by Mark and Jinyoung. He didn't know if he was laughing of crying any more, he just knew he'd found his place in the world at last, and when Jinyoung's hand reached through the mess of bodies to intwine with his own, he knew it was wherever he was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my housemate just moved out and it sucks...... when you live with people you dont know, it's strange, because i never see them outside of the house yet theres a solidarity between us all that really hurts to lose. it's also my last year of uni in september and it's so frightening! so many friends i'll never see again - realising you have to get your life together is the scariest thing that will ever happen to you. i'm getting all teary eyed, one day i'll write a fic that doesnt make me cry hahaha. once again, thank you all!


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